Hi, if you’re new here, my name is Sarine, and I want to share something deeply personal with you today. This past winter, after a fertility treatment, I found myself in a life crisis.

That experience made me question everything. I went on a retreat where I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t living the life I truly wanted. I had no choice left but to make the decisions I had been avoiding for years.

One of those choices led me to buying my dream house in Sweden.

I’m sharing my story because I want you to know: yes, you can create the life you want. But it’s not as easy as social media sometimes makes it look. There will be pain. You need to understand that so you won’t question yourself when things get hard.

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Why I Went on the Retreat

In the fall, I went through a fertility treatment. It wasn’t how I had imagined it. I chose it, yes—but it felt wrong. The first round didn’t work, and I was left with a nagging feeling that something deeper was going on.

Part of me thought: Maybe there’s unresolved childhood trauma stopping me from wanting to be a mother.
Another part whispered: Maybe motherhood just isn’t right for you.

I felt torn. Some days I desperately wanted to align myself with moving forward with treatment. Other days, my entire life felt wrong.

I had trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. I had no excitement about my life, nothing to look forward to.

I realized I was avoiding something important. I’d been following Teal Swan for a while, especially her workshops where she helps people see what they’ve been avoiding in themselves. Her approach resonated with me because she doesn’t sugarcoat reality. She talks about the real pain and difficulty of choosing your truth.

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Making the Leap

When I saw she was holding a retreat called “Curveball,” I knew I had to go—even though it was a lot of money for me. It meant selling some stock options, but the investment felt worth it.

I thought maybe I’d attend in the spring. But then I found out there was one in February… in Costa Rica. I didn’t care about the location. If that’s where the truth was waiting for me, that’s where I would go.

On the very first day, I saw it clearly: I was being fake.

Most of my life choices were about making other people like me, not about what I truly wanted. I rarely asked myself: Do I even like this person? Do I want this?

That realization was painful because I knew it meant I’d lose many relationships. Some people would leave me. Others I would have to walk away from because staying connected hurt too much.

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The Sweden Connection

One of the biggest truths that surfaced was my longing for Sweden.

I’m originally from Germany but lived in Sweden from 2011 to 2017. When my relationship ended and my job contract wasn’t renewed, I took it as a sign to leave. But I’d missed Sweden ever since.

Even when I traveled to beautiful places, I’d think: This is nice… but it’s not Sweden.

On the retreat, I admitted it: I already knew exactly where I wanted to live. Not “somewhere in Sweden,” but the exact area I had left years before.

I had been eyeing a particular house online for weeks, telling myself it was just a “future vacation home idea.” But I knew the truth—it was the house I wanted to live in. Now.

When I returned from Costa Rica, I booked a flight to Sweden immediately. There was a viewing that Sunday.

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The Price of Following Your Dream

Following your heart sounds romantic, but it often comes with loss.

In my case, it meant breaking up with my partner over the phone—something I never wanted to do. I also quit my job. Not just because I was moving, but because I didn’t want to stay in a system where it’s normal to spend five days a week in an office, and then “treat yourself” to expensive things and outing to compensate for the lack of meaning in my life. I wanted more time to do the things I love. Like expressing myself creatively (through YouTube videos, blog posts such as this one, and photography), and for my coaching sessions, where I help others build trust in their own vision for their dream life and find very specific action steps that are actually managable for them in their current life situation. And also just for being in nature, being with my feelings and just dilly-dallying and playing around.

I decided to buy the house in cash. That meant using all my savings and taking on some debt for renovations. I used to fear loans, but I reframed it as a bet on myself. The bet being very simply that I would always be able to repay the relatively small sum I borrowed. I wasn’t planning on doing this without ever having an income again after all, so … not really a huge gamble.

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The House as a Teacher

Now that I’m here, I’m enjoying having time for my coaching clients and my creativity. But the house also comes with challenges and choices.

For example: Do I take on another loan to install a modern heating system, or do I live with some physical discomfort by heating with wood?

Each choice comes with its own pressure. A loan might push me to make money faster but could create stress (which would lead to me breaking down and not making said money). Living simply might keep me comfortable financially but it might be … well, pretty uncomfortable physically. Which might also lead to my motivation for creativity to take a hit.

The deeper question is the same: Do I believe in the value of my work enough to do it consistently—whether I “have to” or not?

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Why This Matters

This house represents more than a physical space. It’s a mirror for my growth.

Keeping it warm, safe, and alive requires me to keep showing up for my work, to believe in my value, and to stay aligned with what I want—not what others expect.

It’s not easy. But it’s alive.

And I’ve learned that comfort without alignment will make you miserable. That’s what I had before—safety, stability, and constant people-pleasing. It made me ill.

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You Can Do This Too

If you take one thing from my story, let it be this:
What you feel inside is possible.

For me, the moment of clarity about my house came in February. By July I owned it and moved in.

Things align when you take steps. Opportunities appear. For example, I negotiated a lower price because of a fungus problem—saving far more than expected. In the long run I will obviously need that saved money for the renovation but this still bought me some time not having to do everything at once. New income streams are appearing as I write this, so everything is working out.

You don’t have to do it alone. I couldn’t. I got help from retreats and coaching. And it fulfills me with deep gratitude that I can offer that to others as well in my personal life coaching sessions.

If you’d like my perspective on your situation, you can book a free discovery call through this link.

If you’d like to hear about actual clients’ results, check out the highlight “client wins” in my instagram profile.

Remember: You are always loved. You deserve the life you want. You already have what it takes inside you to create it.