Hey there love bugs!
Today I want to share some of my recent drawings. Is it just me or do you, too, have different creative channels, and do you switch between them for different periods of time? Not writing much these days, just my morning pages to align my intentions with my focus for the day. Otherwise I have no real desire for words at the moment. Enjoying drawing a lot more right now. I love how it comes straight from the heart, no detours via the mind. Plus, it surprises me every time – I never know what I’ll draw until it’s there on the paper.
So, enough with the talking. Here they are, in no particular order:
Releasing mental and physical blockages with the help of crystals
Crystals are highly effective tools for getting in touch with the subconscious. More specifically, we can use crystals to send orders to our subconscious, which means we can use them to release mental and physical blockages.
Conversely, crystals are also a great way for us to access information that we carry in our bodies and our subconscious. Thus we can use crystals to learn about our higher self, our true nature.
Crystals as tools in our personal development – Open up the space for your potential
Crystals are excellent tools when it comes to personal development. They give us access to information about the potential that lies within us. Qualities and abilities that are not active at the moment or at least not yet fully blossoming, but that we still carry within.
Releasing blockades, awaking our potential – these two processes actually go hand in hand. Because wherever we overcome a blockade, a space opens up that wants to be filled with something new: with our potentials that want to be lived.
As a crystal healer, I support you on your path of self-healing, and the unveiling of your potential. Find out more about how I can help you here.
Lösa mentala och fysiska blockader med hjälp av kristaller
Kristaller är otroligt effektiva verktyg för att komma i kontakt med det undermedvetna. Närmare sagt kan vi använda kristaller för att ge uppdrag åt vårt undermedvetna, vilket innebär att vi kan använda dem för att lösa mentala och fysiska blockeringar.
Åt andra hållet är kristaller även lämpliga för att få tillgång till information som vi bär i våra kroppar och vårt undermedvetna. Vi kan alltså använda kristaller för att få insikter om vårt högre jag, vår sanna natur.
Kristaller som verktyg inom personlig utveckling – Ge utrymme åt ditt potential
Kristaller är utmärkta verktyg när det gäller vår personlig utveckling. De ger oss tillgång till information om den potential som vilar i oss. Dvs egenskaper och förmågor som inte är aktiva än eller blommar åtminstone ännu inte till fullo, men som vi ändå bär inom oss.
I have been thinking about how I wanted to make my blog a travel blog and post pictures of the places I’m visiting, and talk about my adventures. And I think that’s where a misconception entered the stage: I suddenly had this idea that I couldn’t talk about what was really going on with me anymore. Plus, after redoing my website so that it also serves to showcase my work, this had suddenly become „a serious place“, where I didn’t feel like I could just „put stuff out there“ anymore. But what stopped me above all was this thought „You get to do all these wonderful things and see all these wonderful places – you have no right to feel bad about anything, let alone speak about that. That is just complaining, and besides, it would worry your mom so much if she read this.“ So I kind of stopped writing.
Change – It’s never about the situation but always your perspective
As you can tell, something has changed, and as always, it’s not the situation but my perspective. Yes, this trip is a big deal, especially right now where it’s still shiny and new (although it’s really not, I have been living out of my backpack since February) so of course there are and will be pictures of the places I am visiting. However, and this isn’t much of a surprise to those of you who know me: it’s the inner journey that I am much more interested in. So in that sense, I don’t think this blog will ever change. It will always be about what I am going through because it’s the only thing I can write about with passion. Not because I am such an egotistical or narcissistic person but because my perspective on life is the only one I can speak about with confidence. Or, as Thoreau put it in his foreword to Walden:
„In most books, the I, or first person, is omitted; in this [Walden] it will be retained; that in respect to egotism, is the main difference. We commonly do not remember that it is, after all, always the first person that is speaking. I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well.“
What happened to the Blog title anyway? Why I dropped Road to Walden.
My trip around the world – Why the beginning has been a shock
So, yes, I do get to do a lot of wonderful things, see all these amazing places, meet people who are truly kind and generous to me. And still, the beginning of this trip has been a shock. Simply because this journey is something different from what I thought it would be. When I decided to do this after my separation last year, I thought I wanted to explore the world, see some friends that I hadn’t in a long time, and figure out what I want to do with my life because all I knew was that I couldn’t continue the path I had been on. I had painted myself in a corner, and it was time to get out of it.
When I came to Amritabha, it was to get to know myself better, which I did. One of the big realizations I had there was acknowledging the truth that going on this trip also had a lot to do with running away from myself. I’ve written about this before, and I probably will keep writing about this because it’s what everything I am going through at the moment seems to revolve around. Credit where credit is due, I didn’t just have this realization that I was running away from myself. Jaruh, spiritual teacher and Amritabha resident, pointed that out to me. Of course that didn’t go down smoothly at first, I was deeply offended and rejecting the idea at the time. I wrote about that and why I changed my mind here.
Stop running away from yourself and find the home within instead
Once I was over being offended and able to see the truth of his observation, I thought, „OK, then I’m going to make this trip about not running away anymore. I am going to make this about finding the comfort and security that I’ve been seeking in other people and external factors (e. g. long-term employment). I know that this kind of security does not exist „out there“, it’s in me, and I am going to make this trip about finding it, so that I can feel at home wherever I am – and so that I will be able to settle in a place (and a relationship) eventually without burdening my future partner and my environment with the demand to make me happy and provide that security that only can come from withing.“
2016 | The year the seed for this trip was planted
Well, as always: be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. And it might look very differently from what you might have expected. It usually does for me anyways. This reminds me of the beginning of 2016, when I read Agni’s prediction (I think it was his anyway) that this would be a year of healing. I thought „Oh that sounds great!“ I also wrote three words in big bold letters that I put on my altar, because they were qualities that I thought were desirable, and I wanted the poster to help me focus on them. The words were „Happiness – Courage – Trust“.
Healing sometimes means acknowledging pain
Guess what happened that year? It presented me with plenty of situations where healing did happen – by old pain finally coming to the surface, sometimes with violent force. It was a year that presented me with many situations where I needed to be courageous. It gave me ample opportunity to practice trust, because there was nothing else left. Much of what happened that year was a shock, and not at all what I had in mind when I wrote those words or heard the term „year of healing“: panic attacks forcing me to face the fact that I was burnt-out, my employer insinuating to my doctor that I was pretending to be ill, realizing that I needed to break up the relationship with the man I had been with for almost nine years and whom I had tied the knot with just three months earlier.
Happiness amidst the pain
And amidst all that, yes, there was happiness, too. Big time. I did the crystal healer training with Dauri Neumann. It was such a milestone for me: not only did I realize that I was so much more perceptive and able to follow my intuition than I had thought. It also showed me that that part of me is always working, always functioning, even when I was so overwhelmed physically and mentally that grocery shopping seemed like an insurmountable task even with a shopping list. This training also showed me that I hadn’t just „become“ a healer but rather that being a healer was a huge part of me that had already been there, I had just unveiled it.
Intuition | That thing that always works, no matter what the circumstances
In between the training blocks we were supposed to practice by giving healing. I have a tendency to doubt my own abilities but somehow I had no problem renting a treatment room at Butik Ametist, the local esoteric shop run by the lovely Therese. With just the right amount of trust and naivete I just created a Facebook event, asked Therese if she’d share it on her business page (which she did), and asked my spiritual helpers to send the people to me whom I’d be able to help. My first day I ended up giving five treatments back to back, realizing that four with a few breaks in between probably would have been better but hey: I was just so stoked that people actually were interested in what I had to offer. And that the whole time I could feel the same certainty that I felt during the training: this is me, I can do this. I cannot even remember ever having felt this way before in my life. I had always been the type who excelled while simultaneously struggling with self-doubt. Doing something while also feeling that I was capable of it – that had never happened. So, yes, this was definitely a big fat happy moment of that year.
My wedding | Not a lie, just different from what I thought it was
As strange as it may sound: so was the wedding. There was never a moment, even during the break-up, where I felt like it had been a lie or where I could see how something had felt wrong that day (or that week, we had so many friends and family coming pretty early that it felt like a week-long celebration). It simply wasn’t what I thought it had been. I think it was a celebration of all the love Peter and I had in our life at that time, and I think it opened my heart to accepting the truth that I was holding on to our love for the wrong reason, which was fear. Fear of there not being any love in my life except for this one. And between the fear that there might not be any other love, and the truth that we were just not compatible as a couple, the fear had always won. The wedding showed me how loved I was, am. Like I said, I think this was needed for me to be able to face the truth and let go.
Truth | Sometimes happy and painful are all rolled up into one
And that is maybe the most important „happy“ of that year: acknowledging the truth. I remember how in the middle of the pain and the shock of the realization of this truth that we had been in denial about, I could feel that finally all was well again. That while this was not how I wanted for things to turn out, that was exactly what had caused the suffering: putting all my energy into forcing something (or someone) to be something it wasn’t. Truth is happiness because truth is allowing people and things to be who and what they are.
Not living our truth is what makes us unhappy
I meditate on the mantra „I am happy, I am love, I am light“ in the mornings. And although I cannot claim that I feel this at all times during the day (well duh, if I did, I didn’t need to meditate), I believe 100% in the truth of this mantra. Happiness is at the core of our being. At the same time, we are here as very specific beings, with different qualities. What makes us live out that happiness is different for everyone. It’s when we deny ourselves to express our individual happiness (and most often we make others, especially our loved ones, the excuse for not living ourselves) that we „fall out“ of our truth, and that makes us miserable. When we broke up, we were facing the fact that we had been doing that for a long time. And that was already living our truth again, which is why I could feel how everything was well again at what might seem like the lowest point.
Coming full circle | What last year’s lessons have to do with today
As I am writing this, there’s part of me wondering „OK, where are you going with this? This is just another one of your rants, and how many times are you going to keep retelling yourself the story of 2016? What does this have to do with anything right now?“ And I guess part of it is true: I like to rant, I cannot for the love of me keep things short, I get side-tracked, and lost in details (it does help me get to the core of things, though). But aside from that, there are actual reasons for why all this 2016 stuff is coming up again:
1. Sometimes it’s not a question of love whether you can build a life together
It was pretty much exactly a ago that Peter and I broke up. In fact, right about now must have been the time when we went through the phase were we were constantly crying, talking about everything, and when I was wondering how it was possible that there could be so much love between two people and yet that didn’t change the fact that there was nothing to put back together, that this was still the end not a new beginning, at least not together.
2. Deciding to do things differently doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it
Because even though I kept telling everyone that asked me when I was starting my trip, that it had already begun, I too, must have had ideas about the significance of the external journey, especially the part that was leading me farther away, to the other side of the world so to say. So now that that part has begun, I am confronted with the reality that so far I have been able to comprehend but maybe not feel right down to the bones: that it’s all one journey, my entire life. That the decision I made last year to leave the path of self-denial and misery was only the first step.
It might seem like I have come far since then but in some ways it’s mostly the physical mileage. Because taking that step didn’t mean that I instantly knew how to live any other way. It’s a learning process. Here I am, moving from place to place on the outside, and it’s making one thing very clear: you still have to take the steps on the inside. You will find yourself in the same kinds of situations no matter where you go for as long as it take for you to learn how to do things differently. This is where the running away part and the making myself at home on the inside comes into play. Because as wonderful and amazing everything and everyone is, I am being confronted with situations where I feel so out of place and home-less that it physically hurts sometimes.
3. When you desire a certain quality, life will probably not just hand it over to you but present you with the opportunity to do cultivate it yourself
This brings me back to the beginning of 2016, where I put those words happiness, courage and trust on my altar: life presented me with situations that helped me cultivate those qualities then, because I had wished for them. Life is now presenting me with situations that I believe are exactly what I need in order to find home within. There is no other way to find it than to be confronted with situations where it’s impossible to fool myself into believing that „I’ve found it out there“. I suppose finding myself in situations where the sense of not belonging is so strong that it sometimes hurts is just a way of making sure I’ll get there fast, so that I won’t be spending the entire trip being homesick and trying to chase an illusion that maybe there is a place after all where everything will feel right …
True isn’t always the same as Easy but Untrue always leads to Dis-ease
That’s where another aspect ties in with 2016: this is happy even though it doesn’t feel like a walk in the park at all times because I am being true to myself, just like I was then. True is still not the same as Always Easy but I’d pick True on any day of the week over the dis-ease that comes from avoiding it. True is hard sometimes, if it weren’t then why would we avoid it. But the hard part is really the fear of the unknown, it’s never really the unknown.
Change takes time, setbacks are part of the learning process
It’s still pretty recent that I quit looking for home and stability „out there“, and making my choices at the expense of True. So if that is how I’d been used to living for 30 plus years, it’s not so strange that I still catch myself from time to time blaming circumstances for my feeling of „homelessness“. It’s simply conditioning, that’s all. When I see it that way, I can appreciate what a big accomplishment it is that I can interpret my homesickness correctly. I know that whenever I feel it, it doesn’t mean I am missing a certain place. It means that I am not in touch with myself. I am fortunate to know how to re-connect with myself, and I am also fortunate to have people in my life who help me when I can’t get there on my own. In other words: I have everything I need.
Running away from myself & Life is beautiful wherever I am | There’s always two sides to the truth
One of my major anchors right now is another truth Jaruh pointed out to me this past summer: life is beautiful wherever I am, if I make it so. I like how the two most important epiphanies of this year (so far anyway) – that I am running away from myself, and that life is beautiful wherever I am – were brought to me by the same person. Thank you Jaruh. (See, even though I take notes from our conversations that say „I am a strawberry“ or „My mind is the center of my nothingness“, my heart remembers the important stuff.) I also like how they seem to contradict each other, because that’s what truth is – it’s always both.
Making life beautiful | Sometimes it takes a little help
So this is where I am right now: I haven’t been sharing much lately because the beginning of this trip didn’t feel quite as wonderful as I had anticipated. Even when I am so caught up in things that I don’t know what’s going on, when I just want to blame the world and when I really can’t appreciate anything, I still don’t want to put that out there like that because I know it’s not the truth of a situation. (Also I really don’t want to worry my mom. I felt pretty iffy just posting about the food poisoning.) Yet when I am in such a state I also feel like I can’t just post a bunch of „happy stuff“ when it’s not really what I am feeling. As little as I want to put out complaints or any „poor me stuff“, I don’t like the idea of creating the illusion that all is well when I can’t genuinely feel it.
Therefore I am very happy that I am back to being what feels like myself again – happy. It means that when I remind myself that „Life is beautiful wherever I am, if I make it so“, ideas start coming to me of how I can „make it so“. That just didn’t work when I was in this state of shock at the beginning of this trip. It also means I feel like sharing again.
I would like to thank my mentor Irka because this was one of those situations where I was unable to pull myself out, and she was the person who helped me gain perspective and create rituals to help me re-connect with myself – and stay in touch. I love working with Irka because although I hired her to help me start my own business, I firmly believe that you cannot separate different areas of your life. I believe that it’s all connected, and I believe that in whatever area of life we are striving for success, being well is the foundation for everything. I love having a coach who knows this and who is able to see the whole picture and work on all levels. Thank you, Irka!
A vision needs grounding, and life here on earth is so much more fulfilling if it is guided by a vision.
It’s good to have dreams and visions for your life. It means that you are connected with your origin, your heaven. Just remember that the bigger your dreams, or rather: the stronger your desire to manifest them here on earth, the more important it is to ground yourself. It’s simply a question of balance.
Only the vision isn’t enough to actualize the dream, only being in the physical world can lead to a feeling of lack of purpose. You need both, the connection to your heaven as well as this earth.
So when you have big dreams, make sure you remember to ground yourself. How do you do that? The simplest way is to pay attention to your body and its needs. Eat well (and by that I don’t mean following a specific diet, just eat whatever makes you feel comfortable in your skin). Make sure you get enough rest. See to it that you have a place in nature where you like to be. Being in nature is a great way to connect both with yourself as well as the earth and its inhabitants as a whole. Visit that place frequently, not for any particular activity, just allow yourself to be there.
The notion that you could skip any of these things in order to make more time for more „productive“ activities is misguided because you will lose your focus in the long run if you neglect to stay grounded.
And vice versa: if you find yourself consumed by the concerns of the physical world only, it is important that you allow yourself some time to dream. No matter how hard the burdens you might feel seem to press down on you. Especially when they feel so overwhelming that taking time to dream seems like an outrageous indulgence. So how do you do that? Take some time for „nothing“. Just let your thoughts wander aimlessly, do something just for the sheer joy of it. This helps you to open up as a creative channel, which in turn means you are in a position to receive those ideas and dreams that are waiting for you to notice them.
More information about my Healing Art on my business website: https://sarineturhede.com/healingart/
It would be misleading to claim that my experience of the Lemurian Crystal Seminar reflects anything other than, well, my experience. Therefore I want to complement yesterday’s post with a few things to give you a better picture of what you’re in for if you are considering Dauri’s Lemurian Crystal Seminar (or her Crystal Healer Training).
One way of teaching is to share what you know. This is useful when you are privy to information others cannot access. This form of teaching preserves one form of knowledge, one truth, if you will. For as long as the teachings are applied accurately, that is. In some cases this may mean: for as long as the teacher is present to supervise the application of their knowledge.
Another way of teaching is to help others access their own knowledge. This is especially useful when it comes to information that is not stored in one place but in different locations. When it comes to crystal healing, both forms of teaching are relevant. It all depends on the purpose. At times it may be useful to pass on specific techniques.
However, crystal healing knowledge is inherent in many – if not all – individuals, yet many of us have forgotten how to access (or have chosen to forget how to access) that personal knowledge. So there is also a need for a form of teaching that helps the individual to recover their personal knowledge. This may not necessarily preserve one particular technique. Instead it generates a multitude of unique forms of knowledge, all representing different aspects of crystal healing.
If you want to convince yourself of Dauri’s personal crystal healing expertise, make an appointment for a crystal healing treatment. If you want to unlock your own, unique crystal knowledge, sign up for one of her seminars.
For this is the power and the beauty of Dauri’s seminars: she opens up a space where each participant can reconnect with their inherent crystal (healing) knowledge. Therefore, what you get is really a custom-tailored experience, as you might expect of a one-on-one coaching. At the same time you are also benefiting from the group experience: Since you are practicing your healing techniques with the other participants, you get a ton of incredibly powerful treatments yourself during the course of the seminar.
Thanks to the fact that Dauri’s teaching is very hands-on you gain the ability to expertly apply your (re-)discovered knowledge very quickly. One of the side-effects is an incredible boost for your confidence.
To sum things up: Dauri is a great healer AND teacher. If you are truly interested in unlocking and exploring your own potential as a (crystal) healer, you will be able to do so with the help of her guidance. If you are interested in something else, she will probably help you get there, too.
With everything that I had going on up until the last minute of my stay at my grandparents‘ house, I suddenly arrived in Landskrona, Sweden, realizing that I hadn’t spent a single thought on the Lemurian Crystal Healing seminar. The one that I was going to participate in. Like, the next day. Usually I spend money on things (including knowledge offered in seminars) I feel I am lacking. So naturally, there is anticipation, there is hope (that this one might be The Thing That Finally Makes Me Happy or The Answer), and therefore also hesitation (what if this is not The Thing That Finally Makes Me Happy or The Answer?).
When I signed up for the Crystal Healer training with Dauri last year, I didn’t know much about crystals or crystal healing, wasn’t even particularly interested in the subject. I signed up simply because I felt it was important (The Path Into Light had shown it as part of my path). Therefore, I had expectations – that it would help me grow, that it was an important part of my journey towards myself, towards becoming the person I wanted to be. (My expectations were fulfilled in ways I could not have imagined, by the way.)
If you think that choice was based on very little, this time I had even less: the Lemurian Crystal Seminar was not something I had foreseen at any point as an important piece of the puzzle of my life. I just had the feeling I should go. When I arrived, I realized something rare: I felt complete. I have been content with myself for a while now, and the periods of me truly feeling at peace with myself and my life keep getting longer and longer. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect – but I feel happy with who I am and where I am headed, and underneath everything I do I feel a certainty that my life is flowing in the right direction on its own accord right now.
This raised some questions that I can’t say I have ever asked myself before: What is the point of healing when you feel whole already? What is there to gain when you feel like nothing is missing? What could possibly be added? The answer is: so much more.
The reason these questions surfaced was that during the seminar we, the participants, gave each other treatments to practice our own techniques. When it was my turn to receive healing, I kept finding myself not knowing what to ask for. And time and time again my healers treated me to incredible gifts.
One of the most significant insights for me this weekend was that the more I allowed myself to accept my state of wholeness, and (I have to admit this one still feels a little difficult to say out loud) my greatness, the easier it got for me to perceive the others‘ wholeness, their greatness, and what incredible healers they were.
We seem to talk about the importance of loving ourselves a lot. I know I have. But we don’t seem to know what we are talking about. Well, I should speak for myself: I had no idea what I was talking about. This past weekend helped me I understand at the deepest level that self-love has nothing to do with narcissism or egotism. On the contrary, as long as we don’t love ourselves, we are constantly burdening others with our craving their approval (or rejection, depends on how you’re wired).
I know what I am talking about: the list of things I have done in my life just because I wanted someone’s respect/attention/praise is long. And it’s not that I never got others‘ approval. I have the grades from high school and university to prove it. Interestingly, all the praise I ever got was never enough. When I was 18, I entered the competition of an acclaimed German paper with an essay. I was among the ten finalists. Wanna know what conclusion I drew from this? I was convinced that I was no good at writing because, you know, I didn’t win. (They even quoted from my essay during the award ceremony. Nope, not good enough …)
This past weekend showed me what self-love does to our relationship with others: It turns out that when we are in that state where we are at peace with ourselves, when we can see what beautiful and powerful beings we are, we suddenly don’t need others to give us what we are denying ourselves. Thus others are suddenly free to be more than a supporting role in the drama that is our life. We are free to see them as the beautiful and powerful beings they are. We are free to interact and communicate on a much deeper level. Our interaction stops being a negotiation, there is no agenda tied to what we have to offer each other. Instead there is light and lightheartedness to our interaction, and ironically it is exactly our not depending on the others‘ acknowledgement that allows us to feel truly seen for who we are. What greater gift could we possibly have for one another?
Thank you Dauri, Sejana and Tshira for sharing your light with me – and thank you for making me feel seen at the deepest level.