On Wanting and Being Content

“It’s all here”, is what my Lemurian crystal keeps telling me. It’s an important message for me these days. I often feel that I already have everything I need to be happy. Of course, I don’t feel it all the time. Wanting, wishing, and striving for something – those are all part of us, too, and it’s completely natural.

However, it’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that there is something strained and strenuous to the wanting I often feel. It comes from a place of not being good enough, and not from the pure joy of creating something. I see this as a great indicator for whether my actions are “good” in the sense that they support what I am really striving for (happiness! spreading joy!). For it’s not so much the action itself but rather the intention behind it which determines the outcome. Anything I do out of a feeling of not being good (enough), of “just a little more, and then …” – those only lead to one thing: more of the same feeling, more “not good (enough)”, more “just a little more, and then …”.

Gratitude on the other hand, meaning the appreciative recognition of what already is in this moment, is a very powerful tool for attracting more good.

For instance, I recently noticed how much I have always loved music. I still wouldn’t say I am a good singer, but somehow there was this moment where I could admit to myself that I do enjoy singing. Suddenly I find myself in here in Amritabha where singing Bhajans is a weekly occurrence. Moreover, this is exactly the form of singing that suits me, for when it comes to Bhajans it’s not about talent. It’s about devotion. It’s easy to excuse yourself from anything when you can say “Oh, I’m no good at singing”. It’s more difficult however to claim “Oh, I am not good at singing passionately”. And is it possible to do poorly at something when you are passionate about what you’re doing? I guess I’ll find out soon …

If it’s not about earning something through your achievements (your right to exist, e. g.) but about the joy we find in doing something, and yes, praising God with that joy, then this is true: not being able to do something is no reason not to do it. (Those words of wisdom are not mine, btw. It’s ALF who said that – a childhood hero of mine, and when I think about it, a true master of making joy and ease the point of living.)

It’s all here. We’re already taken care of. Thus, we are free to do everything from a place of joy, and free to devote ourselves to the task at hand without worrying whether what we do is good enough. Honing our skills and mastering a craftsmanship will then come simply from doing and the time we put in, from the appreciation of what we already have and know. It can never come from the pressure of forcing ourselves to do anything, or the sense that we are not doing well enough.

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