Kurze Erklärung zu den Bildern am Ende des Posts.
01 Habe mir selbst ein Geschenk gemacht … siehe Bild Nr. 29 (der Becher)
02 Das Notizbuch habe ich für eine Kreativ-Arbeit mit einer Kundin gekauft – also, ich habe natürlich zwei gekauft, eines für sie, eines für mich. 🙂
03 & 04 Alles, was das Künstlerherz begehrt – ebenfalls für die Kreativ-Arbeit am vergangenen Samstag.
05 & 06 Am Sonntag folgte dann der Webseiten-Workshop bei Padmaya in Uster. Es gab schön viel Raum für praktische, direkte Umsetzung der Fragen, inspirierende Gespräche – und leckeres Essen, mit dem Padmaya uns versorgt hat.
07 Am Montag war Shakti-Feuer, ein Feuer-Ritual, das dem weiblichen Anteil der Schöpferkraft gewidmet ist. Auf dem Tablett sind Öl und Reis (gibt man ins Feuer) und Farbe (damit zeichnet man die Segnung auf die Stirn der Teilnehmer – wenn sie einem nicht, wie mir, an diesem Tag einfriert, weil man sie zu früh raus stellt).
10 Nur Selfie
11 Angekommen – Eine Heilungsblumenzeichnung, inspiriert durch ein Gespräch mit meinen MitbewohnerInnen, eben um das Thema Angekommensein. Kann man kaufen, zusammen mit einer Behandlung (geht auch auf Distanz) zum Thema. Bei Interesse schreib mir an email@example.com
13 Tassen-Selfie (Ja, das ist immer noch die Tasse, die mir meine Freundin Lisa vor 2,5 Jahren geschenkt hat und die mich auf meiner Weltreise begleitet hat.)
14 Die allererste Heilungsblume, die ich gezeichnet habe. Zum Thema Erinnerung an die Verbindung zu den Naturwesen.
15 & 16 Wurzel-Chakra-Affirmationen, im Desktop-Hintergrund-Format. Gibt’s als Gratis-Download auf meiner Business-Webseite: https://sarineturhede.com/gratis-downloads/ Hatte schon länger den Wunsch, eine Seite mit Gratis-Sachen zu machen, die eben so richtig gratis sind, ohne dass man sich in einen Newsletter eintragen muss. Da fand ich diese Affirmation sehr passend als Auftakt – Meine Kraft kommt aus meiner Wahrheit.
17 Habe meinen zweiten Workshop zum Thema „Mit Freude die eigene Webseite gestalten“ ausgeschrieben. Diesmal in Hamburg, am 16. Februar. Mehr Info dazu gibt’s hier: https://sarineturhede.com/2019/01/24/mit-freude-die-eigene-webseite-gestalten-tages-workshop-hamburg-16-februar-2019/
18 Mein Lieblingsbaum, heute (Samstag) beim Gang runter ins Dorf fotografiert.
19 Die göttliche Mutter, auch so ein Lieblingsplatz von mir hier auf Amritabha.
20 Die Burgen.
21 Mein Frühstück: Croissant, heute ausnahmsweise mal nicht mit Kaffee, sondern heißer Schokolade (die erstmal wie Milch aussah, weil es so ein Schoko-Klumpen war, der am Stiel steckte, den man dann umrührt).
22 Vogel-Selfie. Also, ich bei Vogel. So heißt das eine meiner beiden Lieblings-Cafés hier im Ort.
23 Schönes Grafik-Design haben die auch.
24 „Am 17 April 1891 ist hier absolut gar nichts passiert.“ Eines der besten Schilder, die ich jemals gesehen habe.
25 Samstag ist Markttag.
26 Manche haben die Weihnachtsdeko gerne noch etwas länger hängen … Warum auch nicht?!
28 Wollte euch eigentlich meine neuen Stiefel zeigen, die ich mir heute gekauft habe, aber die Kamera hat dann doch lieber auf die Hose mit William-Morris-Muster fokussiert. Kann’s verstehen, die ist auch echt toll.
29 Da isses, das Geschenk aus BIld Nr. 01. Der Becher. Natürlich nicht als Ersatz für die Lisa-Tasse, sondern als Komplement!
30 Honig, heute vom Markt.
31 Würde ja gerne behaupten, dass ich nur fürs Foto so viel davon ins Schälchen getan habe, aber das wäre glatt gelogen. Manche mögen’s eben süß.
32 A propos: ein Glück habe ich am Donnerstag Schoko-Kekse gebacken! So brauchte ich am Freitag, als ich einfach nur platt war, nicht einkaufen gehen, sondern konnte einfach im Bett liegen, meine Tage haben und Schoko-Kekse essen.
33 Die Dose ist so schön, verdient zwei Bilder.
34 Der Inhalt. Chocolate chip cookies mit weißer Schoki.
36 Verdienen auch zwei Bilder. Mehr Platz für die schönen Dinge im Leben!
EN – This is what it looks like at Frida’s & Jason’s. Frida is a friend I met when I lived in Sundsvall, Sweden. We worked together for two summers, then she went to travel and work in New Zealand, and then she didn’t come back. I can kinda see why.
DE – So sieht es hier bei Frida und Jason in Hastings aus. Frida ist eine Freundin, die ich in Sundsvall kennen gelernt habe. Wir haben zwei Sommer lang zusammen gearbeitet, dann ist sie mit einem Travel and Work Visum nach Neu Seeland gegangen – und dann kam sie einfach nicht zurück. Kann’s irgendwie verstehen.
SE – Såhär ser det ut hos Frida och Jason. Frida är en väninna jag träffade i Sundsvall. Vi jobbade ihop under två somrar, sedan åkte hon till Nya Seland för travel and work, och sedan kom hon helt enkelt inte tillbaka. Jag kan liksom förstå henne.
I used to have mixed feelings about beauty. Both when it came to myself but also when it came to the question of whether or not it really could be found in everything that exists on this planet. Whether or not it was OK to find it in everything. What part does perception play in the process? What is beauty anyway? Does it even matter? What do you think? Here’s how I see things now:
Beauty is a question of perception
A few years ago a close friend told me about her decision to undergo plastic surgery. The notion that the perception of ourselves differs from others‘ perception of us was not new to me but still. Somehow the conversation struck a chord with me, and it made me understand first hand what that really meant. This friend of mine is one of the most beautiful women I know. If she could see herself through my eyes she would not find the surgery necessary, I thought. Clearly her own perception of her had to be different from how I saw her, for I had no doubt that the surgery was a good thing for her (and it still seems to have been the right thing to do for her to this day).
I guess this hit a nerve because it brought up the question what the status of my own self-perception was. I was by no means planning on undergoing surgery but to say that I was happy with my looks would have been a lie. In some ways my friend was being a lot more honest than me. For I was unhappy with my looks but far to proud to admit (especially to myself) that beauty/being happy with my looks mattered.
Others‘ perception will never win over the voice inside
Is plastic surgery the answer to our discontentment with our appearance? I don’t know. I think that’s up to each and every one to answer for themselves. What I am sure of is this: Others‘ perception of us will never be able to beat the voice inside us. It’s that voice that determines how we see ourselves, and thus: how we present ourselves to the world. If surgery can convince that voice for good, then it’s definitely a positive action. I just know this wouldn’t work for me. That voice of self-doubt would just move on to the next thing that needed to be changed. It is her nature: doubting and criticizing.
There is more than just one voice inside us – which one to we trust?
To be specific: it is the voice inside that we put our faith in which determines how we feel about ourselves and how we present ourselves. Since yes, there’s that voice that tells me not to get any ideas, that no way am I among the beautiful ones. There’s that other voice, too, though. A voice that only speaks of beauty when I look in the mirror. In other words: a dangerous voice, a seductive liar. What would happen if I ever fell for her?! Just imagining the humiliation if anyone found out I thought I was beautiful when really I am not is too much …
One body, so many different images. If it’s true about my friend, why wouldn’t it be about me? What if the liar in me is not a liar? What if everyone but me could already see my beauty, and I were the only one holding on to a different truth? Or, what if the only reason others couldn’t recognize my beauty was that I keep placing my trust in that voice that only believes the worst of me? If there isn’t just one single truth about my body, shouldn’t I be able to choose? What’s keeping me from choosing anything but the best version of my self-image?
Beautiful Women Vs. Intelligent Women
The reason why I was unable to accept my own beauty at the deepest level was this: I was convinced that there were two kinds of women – intelligent ones and beautiful ones. Intelligent women didn’t necessarily have to be ugly but they definitely couldn’t show that they cared about their appearance. That, I thought, would have been shallow, and being shallow meant being dumb, right? Respectively, beautiful women could definitely be „surprisingly“ smart but not THAT smart because otherwise they wouldn’t be so shallow and put so much effort into their looks, right? … (The fact that all of my girl-friends were living proof of the contrary somehow didn’t count. There were obviously two different sets of rules – one that applied to me and another for everyone else.)
Jealousy – a hint at what we are denying ourselves
A little later I noticed that I had become jealous of a certain type of women. I had understood at this point that jealousy always shows up when we are seeing something in others that we are denying ourselves. So what was it with these women that bothered me so much? Easy: they were the kind of women who dared to be both. Intelligent and beautiful. They were women I had been following via social media, who touched me deeply with their writing. Not only could these women write, they were also posting pictures of themselves, showing off their natural beauty. They were not overdoing anything but there were little details in their style that left no doubt about two things: these women were aware of their own beauty, and they were letting the world know that they knew.
The Purpose of Beauty
No doubt about it, they both exist: the part of me that sees all my flaws, that keeps telling me not to get any grand ideas about myself, and the part that sees all the good in me, including my beauty. Only one of the two parts allows for a light-hearted, joyful existence. And that’s what it’s all about after all, right?
I am not only concerned with my own beauty, though. Beauty in my surroundings (or lack thereof) affects my well-being just as much. Up until now I have felt ambivalent about this aspect of beauty as well. I always thought that this desire for beauty on the outside was a sign of lack of balance on the inside. Surely beauty couldn’t matter that much?
The other day I was listening to one of Insha Holz’s power animal meditations (they’re in German but check out her world love meditations, they’re in English, too). It was the one where she led us to the holy white butterfly, who opens us for the world’s beauty and our own. During the meditation Insha said something that changed my perspective on the whole beauty thing: where we see beauty is where we find God. Within beauty there is God – that thought had never occurred to me. I knew instantly that it was true.
Recently I have often felt that I have gotten pretty good with getting in touch with myself. But what about God? Why didn’t I feel anything? Where should I look? When I heard that God was to be found in beauty, I suddenly understood why beauty mattered so much to me. Why it was so important for me to see beauty in me and in the world, and what it was I felt when I saw beauty. The joy and the lightness. Beauty is harmony, peace. Hi there God, so this is is where you’ve been the whole time! Suddenly it didn’t seems so pointless and dumb anymore to seek beauty in the world and in me, and to acknowledge it.
Whether it is out there in the world or inside us: they both exist, the ugly and the beautiful. Everything that’s wrong and everything that is good – just as it is. The holy white butterfly helps us to recognize beauty, the good. In other words: she helps us to find God. In the world and in us. Thank you dear Insha for bringing us together.
PS: When I look at the world through the eyes of the holy white butterfly, it looks and sounds like „Welt der Wunder“ by Marteria. How about you?
The original purpose of this blog was to document and share my journey as a soul-searcher. I think the main reason I haven’t done that lately (apart from the fact that our internet situation is still kind of a non-situation and I haven’t felt like staying at the office just so that I can spend more time by the computer) is that some things are still too new and fragile to share yet. I need to manifest and live them before I can share them. Does that make sense?
But spiritual growth for me is nothing separate from physical growth, and I see our garden as a big part of what I want to accomplish in this life. So lately I have been thinking that I want to document that part more, even if it’s just to be able to see how things evolve from one year to the next.
Last year, our first, felt like a struggle. I was working full-time, and often felt too exhausted to want to o anything at all after work. We picked the heaviest, most clayey spot on our entire land to grow vegetables on, and nothing much grew besides potatoes. This year we’re only growing potatoes on it – and we dug out another bed (much better soil) where we grow other veggies.
We built a greenhouse last year, and the tomatoes and squash grew into a jungle. The cucumbers died, we watered them with cold water. I made tomato chutney and jam, and lots of squash cheesecake. At the end of the season I got hold of another (a „real“ greenhouse) through the Swedish equivalent to craigslist. The previous owners sold it for next to nothing because a storm had destroyed a lot of the glass. So this year we have two green-houses.
The tomatoes I pre-grew all died because I didn’t think to harden them before planting them into the green-house. Luckily, a much more experienced gardening-enthusiast down the street sold their excess tomato plants. That way I even got hold of a couple of exotic specimens they had brought home from a vacation. No suqash this year, I simply forgot to pre-grow it. Cucumbers, though, and melons!
We have been talking about chickens, too. Haven’t gotten further than getting books from the library, though. That’s one of the things that I like about gardening (besides lovely „free“, organic food): there will always be another chance, another spring, another summer, more time to grow.
I have been thinking about the blog a lot lately, but the task of trying to catch up on EVERYTHING that has happened since I last posted anything has been overwhelming. So I thought I’d let this feeling grow by waiting some more. And then, today, I thought I’ll just get going by not trying to catch up on EVERYTHING but just posting SOMETHING. Like pretty pictures of flowers. Voilà.
A visit to one of my co-workers inspired me …
… She had this table with lots of flower arrangements outside her front door …
… So I got all the vases/jars I had together and started picking flowers …
… and placed them everywhere on our veranda …
These are my favorites, by the way. „Skogsvioler“ in Swedish (forrest violets – a little more poetic than „common dog-violet“, donchathink?)
… apart from lupins, which are also my favorites.
This is my second year growing stuff on actual soil, not just a balcony and a kitchen window sill. Last year’s lesson: pregrow EVERYTHING. I learned that one by not pregrowing anything except for tomatoes. And those still didn’t ripen fast enough before it got too cold. In my defense, we talked to our neighbors before getting started, and they all said that they never pregrow anything, they plant right in the soil. The rule of thumb up here is not to plant before the summer solstice (21 June), since it can still get below freezing before that (doesn’t happen often but still). That’s cold, man! And obviously summer doesn’t last longer around here just because it starts late, so … you get the picture.
So yesterday I planted 192 plus seeds – melon, cucumber, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, radishes, egg plants, the works. Excited to see what lessons this year has in store for me. If I had to guess now it could be: don’t let your cats use the land you want to grow food on as a litter box during the winter if you don’t want them to do their business there during the summer … But hey, I might be wrong.
I love the fact that I can turn this
I got the idea from this book with crocheting/knitting/embroidery projects by Sanna Vatanen.
Oden and Freya are digging my booties, too.
I keep hoarding fabric – luckily, I am also still riding that wave where I keep making stuff.
My most recent project: curtains for the second bedroom window.
After initially worrying I might have gone too far with this one (too much going on, pattern-, color-, crochet-trimming-wise), I realized that I really do like the over-the-top-too-much-ness of it. I guess it’s officially time I fess up: I really dig having too much of everything when it comes to mixing colors and patterns, styles/crafting techniques. In fact, it’s barely enough.
Speaking of too much is never enough: I can never have enough plants, either.
I am sure I have mentioned my obsession with Karin Holmberg. Well, her art, that is. The other day I embroidered this purse inspired by one of her designs.
A friend asked me to show some pictures of our house. Since the bedroom has been my latest project, and the only one that I am not done yet happy with, I started with that. Voilà:
Ok, I am starting to post cat pictures. Time to go home.
In case you’re wondering: yes, some of those pictures are taken with a different camera. After realizing that 1. we spent less money on Christmas than anticipated, and 2. that we regret the things we didn’t buy more often than we regret the things we did buy, we came to the conclusion that it was time for me to get the thing I had been pining for for several years now: an SLR. I bought it second-hand, of course, and I am really happy with it. The body is a Nikon D90, the lens is from an older, analog model. I can’t wait to get an adapter for the M42-lenses I have lying around. If you have any experience with/advice on those kind of adapter rings, I’d be grateful for your comments.