• Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    The gap that allows for change to take place …

    … I think that’s what this thing I am in is. Here is the current state of affairs:

    • I now have an indefinite residence permit for Sweden – yay!
    • We’ll be able to have a phone at the house – yay!
    • We’ll be able to have internet at the house – yay!
    • The internet will be old school, very slow, no looking at pictures, only text – meh!
    • The bank is willing to give us a loan for the house – yay! I mean, scary – loaning money – but yay!
    • I have applied for two jobs which I would be super-excited about if I got either of them. Yay! (I know „two“ doesn’t sound like a lot but I am more of a „few-but-put-a-lot-of-time-and-effort-into-them“ kind of application-writer, not the „if-I-write-200-applications-something-has-to-work-out“ type)
    • We are heading up to Sundsvall today (yes, this is a scheduled post), to spend some more time checking out the electrosmog situation in the area.
    • I am kind of freaking out right now. I think it’s the parts of me that don’t want to let go of the old, that are afraid of change, that are acting up now because they now that this is legit. It’s on! I guess I’m just gonna have to ride this one out but I am scared at the prospect of having to face this side of me. Not having any diversions like, say, the internet, will definitely do that: force me to face myself – yikes! Without ever having dared to watch Antichrist, I think it’s what I am picturing this little trip in my head right now. Only I might be both of the spouses. Although, not having any diversions like, say, the internet, will probably give Peter and I plenty room for ugly fights, too. Let’s hope these wannabe house-buyers make it till Thursday – that’s when the official safety dude that’s checking out the house is stopping by. And when we’ll set up the actual contract.

      Cloudberries – more common in the north of Sweden. We saw one at Indian-Per’s. It wasn’t this blurry, though, that’s just me doing a bad job taking pictures without flash. Sorry.
  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    Indian-Per

    Last night we visited a former colleague of Peter’s. They don’t call him „Indian-Per“ for nothing: he’s single-handedly turned the farm he bought into a ranch. This guy really has an eye (and two hands) for details. I took some pix, check it out:

    Where there’s an Indian-Per, there’s a tipi … or three … aiming for twelve (!)
    The stables. Indian-Per has two horses and a dog, all three of which are so well trained that they walk around on the property without any fence. Impressive. And adorable.

    Bathtubs upcycled – how cool is that?

    This is actually the view from the terrace, so imagine sitting in one of those bathtubs and looking at this (the sauna, btw).
    And of course, the sauna itself has a great view of the pond, too (which I managed not to capture here).

    So inspiring to meet someone with a vision and so much drive. Inspiration is important, Per agreed – inspiration not to copy others but to become your own original. Well, I’d say he’s got that one down.

     

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    Apple trees … and worms

    Ok, here it comes: I am pretty sure that we found our little corner of the world, our little farm in the prairie, the place where the heart is – you know: home.

    I’ve actually felt that way ever since we saw it, which is how it’s supposed to start, right? By „saw it“ I mean the real thing, not the pictures, those gave me very mixed vibes: kitchen on the second floor? Weird, completely out of context wild west type front porch? What’s up with that? But apple trees, and a creek running through the yard! Plus, the price was right, too!

    I am not the type to hold back on making (premature) announcements for fear of jinxing anything, I just say it how it is: that I think this is what’s going on but that it’s not a done deal yet. So, although everything isn’t settled yet, here is the story of our dream house and some pix thus far. It’s been quite a ride already …

    It started with Peter’s mom, who obviously knew about our quest for a different place to live. One day in May we received an e-mail from her, saying that one of her colleagues wanted to sell a house. I already mentioned the pictures attached to that e-mail, and like I said, I was not sold right away. And anyways, moving back up north wasn’t really what we had had in mind, either. We wanted to stay at a distance from Gothenburg that would allow us to come visit regularly, and keep our circle(s) of friends! Also, when looking on the phone provider’s map of cell phone towers in the area, it wasn’t looking too hot, either … (no, not too few – too many, but that’s a story for another time). On top of it, we were supposed to make a fast call, since the owner had been trying to seel the house for a year, and was about to hand it over to a real estate agent, meaning a higher starting price plus a possible bidding war … So, yeah, we were doubtful.

    At this point, I feel like I should insert a short lesson on Swedish geography, which makes the pickle we found ourselves in understandable:

    1. Sweden is a long country. A very long country.
    2. The drive from Gothenburg (which is where we live right now) to Sundsvall (where Peter’s family lives, and where the house is) takes nine hours.
    3. The place in Dalarna, where the family reunion for summer solstice was held, is a six-hour drive from Gothenburg, and a three-hour drive from Sundsvall.

    We decided to take the „real estate agency risk“, and stick with our original plan to go check out the house after the family reunion. If the house was truly supposed to be ours, it would wait for us. If it suddenly, after being up for sale for a year, would find new owners, it just wasn’t meant to be. And like I said: we had had our doubts anyway, so we were mainly going to look at it so that we wouldn’t end up asking ourselves „What if …?“

    Well, since I already spoiled it for you, the question at this point obviously isn’t whether this house turned out to be a „yay“ or a „nay“. I suppose you are more interested in how it went from „Hm“ to „Home!“.

    Since it was on the way in to Sundsvall (the house is actually located in a village about 40 minutes outside), and Peter had spotted it’s location on the map, we decided to stop and sneak a peek from the outside. In all fairness: I wasn’t all that willing to make another stop, there had been so many delays and pit-stops on the way, and it was getting late. But we did, and my instant feeling was „This is where I want to live, we have to buy this house!“. It just felt right.

    The backside. Top left to bottom right window: little (office? guest?) room, bedroom, bathroom

    Just the area we drove through to get there was really beautiful: very rural, hills/small mountains with lakes in between, forest and fields, beautiful „old school“ farms and houses. The last bit of the way to the house is a dirt road, giving it that remote feel that I have been longing for.

    We almost missed the house, there are bushes ans trees surrounding its property, which is also perfect. We recognized it by it’s „trademark“ – that funky front porch.

    If I can turn it into something like this, it’ll be cool …

    What I was iffy about when i saw the pictures suddenly came through – this place was really charming! The little creek (coming from a pond where apparently you can go fishing) was running through the land behind the house. A small bridge was leading across it, and on the other side stood the barn – also part of the property. In front of the barn was even a little decking, so I immediately saw myself sitting there, having dinners in the evening sun, enjoying the beautiful view over the field of the neighboring farm.

    All curtains were closed, so we couldn’t get a look at the inside but that didn’t change me feeling that we’d come to a good place was. What followed was a major fight, what else. I guess my all out exhilaration and unreserved euphoria brought out the opposite in Peter. In an attempt to get my head out of the clouds (not a deliberate one, I would say, it felt more like an instinctive, compulsive pessimism at the time …), he went right to the opposite end of the scale. Well, if his intentions had been to prevent me from getting my hopes up too high, he certainly succeeded. It seemed like the life I had been picturing was never going to be possible with „Mr. Monday“ …

    The ride into Sundsvall started out fast and furious (I was driving, still completely pissed) but despite all the „You always …“ and „You will never …“ we somehow managed to smoothe things over, and make it home in one piece. At night, I started having second thoughts of my own. Was this really it? The property did seem awfully small in retrospect, and half the point of moving to the country-side was to grow our own vegetables, possibly have hens and goats and whatnot! Yet I was also a bit worried about the fact that a real estate agency actually had become involved. We had seen an ad for the house in the local paper – already at a slightly higher asking price!

    The next day, Peter’s mom arranged for us three to meet her colleague/friend at the house so we could get a look at the inside. No disappointments here. Sure, it was going to be work but we had wanted a project – nothing too advanced but still something we would make our own. Again, it seemed like we had come to the right place.

    A job for Peter.
    The pipe in the shower is leaking but it turns out the current owners are going to fix that one.
    Not to crazy about electrical heating, which unfortunately is very common here in Sweden – and probably one of the most expensive ways of heating. Hoping we’ll be able to make a change.
    The barn is the most interesting project to me – and probably the most work …
    It has already been prepared for use as a sort of rec room.
    There’s a kitchen, to which they even lay a pipeline from the house, so you can have water there during the summer.
    Unfortunately, when they put in the flooring, they closed it off too tightly, so it started molding beneath.

    Regardless of what we want to do with this one (a summer cottage is my vision …) or when, we’re going to have to start out by doing damage control and take out the flooring

    The best part was, that there was still a lot of old, charming details left:

    … like the wooden panels on the walls of the hall upstairs …
    … or the fireplace in the living room. If we can exchange that for a bigger one, we should be able to get a lot of heat from it, meaning we won’t need the electrical heaters so much.
    … or, my favorite: the style of the kitchen walls (don’t know the terminology for this) …
    … and, my favorite favorite, the smoke funnel that makes me dream of putting in a wood burning stove that I hope to find at one of the second-hand places. Would be great for coziness and pizza, but also for warming the place, thus keeping the electrical bill down.

    The owner (rather, the daughter of the owners who’s managing the sale) was kind enough to let Peter and me borrow the key so that we could stay the night.

    Why did we want to do that? Well, there is one issue that has made this quest for a place to live more than a life dream, and which overrules all our opinions, desires and reason: Peter is hypersensitive to electromagnetic fields. That can mean all kinds of things, in his case (and I am simplifying here), any sort of wireless signals (cell phones and cell phone towers, wireless internet, cordless phones, etc.) cause him physical pain. That obviously makes everyday life, uhm, a challenge. It gets even more confusing when you add to that that it takes his body a while to adjust to different environments. Meaning, while it obviously is worst when he is exposed to a lot of electro-magnetic signals, his body does get used to that situation, the pain becomes kind of a background noise. When he’s in an environment where there are very few emitters of electromagnetic signals, he feels a lot better – but just one device suddenly popping up can make the pain seem a lot more piercing.

    He usually explains it with this metaphor: If you’re in a room full of people smoking, you stop noticing the fume after a while, and it won’t bother you (if you even can tell) when one additional cigarette is being lit. However, if you are in a place where nobody smokes, one cigarette being lit might bother you a lot, while technically, it is probably a lot less healthy for you to be in the room full of smokers.

    So, perception is relative – but the health factor isn’t, which makes things very complicated. In an environment with few sources of electromagnetic signals (gosh, I am really bad with the terminology stuff, sorry to all of those who know better, feel free to correct me!), the one neighbor that is surfing the internet wireless, can pretty much make it impossible for us to live there. Let alone the cell phone towers that might be put up in the area, since that’s where we’re heading.

    The house we’re interested in buying is fairly isolated, with only four neighbors at an ok distance – except for one, which is only about 25 yards away. The two times we were there for maybe an hour or so each, Peter felt good. But as hopefully has become clear, that’s not really enough. Therefore we asked to sleep there.

    We drove back to Sundsvall to get our sleeping bags, and on the way back out, we saw the most amazing sun set:

    This doesn’t really do any justice but still.

    We slept well that night – and we hadn’t even brought the silver net which we usually have up to shield Peter/us! Oh yeah, and it turned out that the contract with the real estate agency hadn’t been signed yet, so the owners could back out of that deal, meaning no competition for us, lower price, yet more money for the owners. Yup, the universe was definitely waving numerous of those giant foam hands, all pointing at that house.

    Good things just kept coming: Peter’s sister and her husband came out to meet us the next morning. They had bought a house of their own a few years back, so they could give us advice and opinions that backed up our gut feeling (yeah, it turned out that Peter really did like this house, too, he was just more hesitant to express that in the beginning). The day after that, Peter’s aunt and uncle came to visit, and they have fixed up quite a few houses over the years, so their approval meant a lot.

    We started looking up all that fun stuff that comes with these kind of endeavors – bank loans (both unemployed right now, yikes), jobs, costs and waiting time for an „official“ expert to give the house a check-up … the works.

    Then the time came to return to Gothenburg, and so much had happened during that one week – we really were only gone from Thursday to Thursday!? – that it felt like months. Suddenly our outlook on the future had shifted from „What are we going to do? Where are we supposed to live? How are we ever going to figure this out?“ to „This is it!“.

    And then, just as sudden, we hit a brick wall, and the whole thing came to a screeching halt: it looked like it would not be possible for us to have telephone, let alone internet there. I probably don’t need to point out that that is a terrifying prospect for someone who cannot use cell phones or wireless internet … Surely, this could not be happening??? How could the perfect house for us suddenly be brought down by (the lack of) a cable?

    As absurd and unfathomable as that seemed, it looked like all the spots in the box that supplies the phone lines to the households in one area where taken up. And since the trend is towards wireless, the phone companies do not put any resources into expanding there … So, if we wanted to live there, we would apparently be „incommunicado“ indefinitely. Welcome to the absurd life of electromagnetic-hypersensitive people and their loved ones.

    Anyway, don’t want to bore you with the details of this odyssey that had Peter in a loop, being sent back and forth between different companies. I’ll just skip right to the status quo: there seemed to have been a computer error, marking that box „no vacancy“ when there was just some other defect. Technical folks are heading out to the house on Tuesday, where Peter’s sister will let them in so they can check out what’s really going on. For now I am optimistic that we might be able to avoid total solitary confinement …

    Without meaning to, this post somehow turned from „The house of my dreams“ into „My life with my electromagnetic-hypersensitive boyfriend“. Well, I hope you can embrace the eclecticism. Here, have another picture of the beautiful sunset:

    ***

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    WWOOF | Törnagården

    I’m back. It feels weird being in our apartment again after wwoofing a week on the country-side. At least it’s finally green around here, too.

    This past week was amazing and inspiring in so many ways. Initially we had planned on staying with two, maybe three different wwoof hosts. We ended up staying at Törnagården with Vanessa and Marcus the whole time. The perfect place for us.

    Törnagården is most of all one thing: rustic. The wallpaper in the kitchen: rustic …

    I was pretty lousy at taking pictures. Sometimes it feels as if taking a photograph takes away something from the moment. Like you become aware that „this is a moment“ instead of just enjoying it’s existence. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I don’t have a better excuse for why I didn’t take more pictures of some of the amazing things I saw these past days. Like Törnagården itself. Like the awesome house on wheels that Marcus designed himself, and which he has been building petty much entirely from trees he himself cut down. Like the adorable baby clothes Vanessa has been knitting for the little bean that is due any day now. Like the great food she prepared for us every day. Like … you get the picture. Well, I guess you actually don’t in this case. Maybe some.

    Enamel drinking bottle: rustic.
    Cast-iron skillet: rustic.
    Lamp made from vegetables (I forgot the name of this squash-like thing): rustic …
    … and pretty awesome!

    So, what have I been doing then instead of taking pictures (as I am putting together this post, I realize that I did take more pictures than I thought), and without internet for a week?

    When we arrived on Wednesday, we could tell we had come to the right place by the house on wheels that was standing on the lawn in front of the house. We were greeted by two excited little bears  who seemed like they could hardly pace themselves behind the fence (another proof of Marcuses‘ craftsmanship). They turned out to be Sophie and Lotte, the family dogs. A highly pregnant Vanessa pointed us to the front door, where she welcomed us warmly. After talking for a while, and Vanessa showing us around, Marcus showed up, too. He had been at his workshop (he is a finsnickare, a carpenter), where he had been – and where he would be for most of the days we were staying at Törnagården – working on a bed for the baby. With the due date rapidly approaching, this was obviously pretty high on the priority list.

    They showed us around some more – the green houses, which Marcus had built from parts he found on the property, and which were featured in an åter-article; Vätte, the cow, and her calf Edgar, and the two goats, Bogart and … I forgot the other one’s name. And they obviously gave us a tour of the house on wheels.

    Vätte

    After lunch we started getting down to business. The business of shoveling shit manure namely. There was a big pile of it by the hen house, and it had to be moved in order to compost. After a while, we accompanied Marcus to his workshop. After we got a tour, we started cleaning up my the saw mill till dinner.

    Nope, behind this door lies not the chamber of terror, just the saw mill.
    Sorting tools … it takes one to know one? OK, that was mean.
    Too bad our car was too small for this beauty.

    In the evening, Marcus and Vanessa tried to separate Edgar from Vätte over night, so that we would be able to get some milk in the morning. No success, though, or at least not for us. Edgar won this one.

    In all fairness I should mention that we did get some Vätte-milk. I thought it tasted pretty good but what do I know, the milk I buy comes in plastic containers. Milk connoisseurs Vanessa and Marcus claim that during the summer, Vättes milk tastes like strawberries. I guess I have to go back …

    On Thursday we all started the day by walking the dogs by a little pond in the woods nearby, Kvarndammen („kvarn“ means mill, and there was a little water mill).

    Kvarndammen
    Happy as two giant hairy clams: Lotte (front) and Sophie.

    Then it was back to the workshop, more cleaning. We had lunch at Törnagården, outside in the backyard. It was windy, so the salad had to be eaten fast, but still – we were eating outside, surrounded by nature. Sitting on our balcony here in town just doesn’t measure up to that.

    In the background: the greenhouses Marcus built.
    OK, here’s one picture of some of the delicious food Vanessa made for us – leek, beet, „kålrot“, tsatsiki, and the ever so popular sour dough bread. All organic, home-grown/handmade with love. Thanks, Vanessa!
    Vanessa’s sour-dough bread. So good that it deserves it’s own picture. Actually, it deserves better than this blurriness, sorry about that.

    All four of us went to the workshop in the afternoon. Peter and I cleaned some more, Vanessa was preparing the bars of the baby bed for sanding, Marcus kept building the bed. Later Vanessa, Peter and I sat outside in the sun and sanded the bars under Marcuses‘ (justifiedly) critical supervision. We ended up sitting there until after 8 pm. That was one of the most beautiful things for me during these past days: not having a watch with me – and no clocks on the walls. Just going with the flow, letting the daylight be my guide.

    After we returned to Törnagården, Marcus went straight back to the workshop, the remaining three of us went to the neighboring farm to get some milk (how cool is that?!). Vanessa made pancakes for dinner, after which we sat and talked for a while. I was very tired, and the first to go to bed.

    Where I laid my head to rest for the past week.

    On Friday Marcus has to attend to a project for a customer, so Peter and I stay at Törnagården and finish of moving the manure from the hen house. We also clean the hen house a little, and I have to admit that the sight of maggots in the hen poo was quite the challenge for me. But the day wasn’t all work: I lay on the trampoline in the sun for quite some time, and in the afternoon Vanessa took Peter and me to a beautiful lake. I took my first „swim“ for the year (not sure if the few seconds I could make myself stay in the coldcoldcold water count).

    Saturday Marcus had to finish up Friday’s project (sadly but not unsurprisingly that ate up quite a bit more time than planned). The rest of us went to Falköping. The thrift store Vanessa was going to show us was closed but we discovered one that she hadn’t been to, either, so it was a win for all three of us. Peter bought a beautiful old alarm clock, which ticks very loudly, and which has an alarm sound that I am not too crazy about, but which I hopefully will get used to.

    In the evening the four of us went over to some friends of Vanessa’s and Marcuses‘ – Tonie, who was celebrating her 30th birthday, and Fabian. It was a beautiful evening, the first barbecue of the year, lots of interesting people with interesting stories; most of them wwoof hosts and wwoofers. Peter and I felt really welcome, and not like the tags-along (is that even a word?) we actually were.

    Inspired by herbal savvy Vanessa, Peter and I went to gather some herbs to take with us to Gothenburg – dandelion, lady’s mantle, nettle, raspberry leaves. Peter wants to make wine from the dandelion blossoms, I have been browsing the net this morning for all kinds of recipes, and now it looks like there is going to be a pesto fest coming up (and thus probably some recipe posts, too).

    In the afternoon, Peter and I went to Bossgården, a farm we had also considered wwoofing at, and which is actually the place where Vanessa and Marcus first were wwoofers themselves. At this point, we are trying to get into as many heads as possible of people who are doing what we hopefully will be doing ourselves some day in the not too distant future. Jonas, who runs Bossgården with his wife, Sanna, was kind enough to let us pick his brains over delicious homemade sour dough bread.

    On Monday, Peter and I prepared two of the green houses by weeding and fertilizing them. I think I actually enjoyed this activity the most out of all our little wwoof-projects. Who knew that digging around in the dirt with my hands might turn out to be my thing?

    My pleasure of digging around in the dirt however was surpassed by the joy of meeting someone else who has been doing that on a whole different scale – and for years: In the afternoon, Vanessa Peter and I went to see a guy that had been much talked about the previous evening. He was said to be building an earthship, and that was just way too interesting not to check out. The earthship turned out much more amazing than what I had imagined (and thanks to Vanessa, I remembered to take at least some pix this time). Kevin and the story of his earth ship were also really interesting, so if you ever happen to be in the Tidaholm area, I can only recommend that you stop by. We showed up unannounced (which we had been told was ok but somehow it still felt a little weird for me anyway), one of the kids had the stomach-flue – and we were still welcomed with open arms both by Sandra and Kevin. There is so much to be said about this earth ship, and the journey Kevin and his family have been on since they started building it. I am actually thinking that it is deserving of its own post, so for now we will have to make do with some pix.

    Yesterday (Tuesday), we left – after one last look at the crib.

     

    On the way home, we stopped by Hjo, one of the three cities in Sweden that have made it their goal to preserve as many of the old buildings as possible. It was beautiful, and – again – I took way too few pictures.

    Tvål fabriken = soap factory
    Känsla = feeling

    I felt really lucky when I found a little brochure at the tourist information about a place that sells locally grown white asparagus just outside Hjo. That has definitely been one of the things I miss about Germany, the measly little overpriced bundles you get at the grocery store here just don’t cut it. So I got to buy expensive but hopefully delicious „real“ asparagus for once. And whaddaya know, the guy running the place turned out to be from Germany originally. Driving by the fields, and seeing the workers (from Poland judging from the license plates of the cars parked at the farm), I couldn’t help but wonder about their wages, and I started thinking about Two Caravans and It’s a Free World … And then I started to think about my own hypocrisy, for after all: what about all the people involved in the process of producing my food that I buy at the grocery store, whose faces I don’t happen to see right in front of me? …

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    Wwoofever

    I am beyond excited. Tomorrow we’re heading out on our second (or first official) wwoofing experience. We’ll be staying with Vanessa and Marcus at Törnagården. I spoke to Vanessa on the phone last weeks, and she sounds really nice. In fact, she IS really nice – she got us in touch with friends of hers who will take us in after our stay at Törnagården – Antonie, Fabian, and their two sons at Fridslund.

    It’s amazing how I sometimes feel like everything will always stay the same. No matter how hard I struggle, nothing seems to change – and then, all of a sudden, so many things just happen. Without me struggling at all.

    I have been browsing the host-section of the Swedish wwoof-site like I normally only browse on etsy. I feel so inspired. There are so many people who sound amazing, so many places that look really beautiful. This summer is going to be amazing.

    This may very well be the last blog post where I can claim that I don’t know how to milk a cow …

    Here’s to not struggling for change, to just letting it happen.

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    The time is now

    I did it. I quit my job. On Thursday.  In a way, this was bound to happen but it was kind of out of the blue anyway since I had always imagined that I would find something I’d rather do while working.Last week I realized that that wasn’t happening, and that maybe that wasn’t the way to go about things. I remembered my former room-mate in Germany, who had quit her job because she was too discontent to continue but she knew that she wasn’t unhappy enough to do anything about it unless she had to. So she quit, and a few months later she found the perfect job.

    For me the realization came during a conversation with my good friend La. I kept going on about how I really needed this to be over soon … and suddenly I realized that I could and would have to make that happen myself. Then I went through a phase of anxiety over the conversation I would have to have with my boss. I dreaded it, and almost didn’t want to quit just to avoid it. It sucks when you feel like you’re letting someone down – and it sucks even more when someone else feels like you’re letting them down, and want to make you feel guilty about it. That was honestly the reaction I was getting myself prepared for.

    At the same time all these wonderful perspectives and opportunities started coming into my life as soon as I had made that decision: going wwoofing (we’ll actually start next week, though only for a few days but still), the prospect of a house, actually by now it appears that there might be two … So by Wednesday night (the night before I was going to tell my boss), I was a wreck with all these thoughts in my head. I obviously didn’t get very much sleep. I prepared myself for The Talk with some of the tips that La had given me – most of all: to not let the conversation get emotional, to be compassionate but not make my boss’s issues mine.

    So, on Thursday, I went in prepared for the worst reaction. I kept telling myself that no matter how this went down, as long as I did tell her about my decision, it would be fine in the end. It would be over a month from now. And then the most amazing thing happened: my boss was completely understanding, and happy for me. We actually had a really good, personal talk.

    My last working day (in this job anyway) will be June 19. Excited to find out what’s next. It looks like I might actually be able to keep the resolution I made for myself – that I do not want to celebrate my next birthday in this apartment.

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    What’s important?

    I can’t shake this feeling of being all over the place. Probably because I still am. Today, I suddenly had an idea for a movie. Great. One more thing to add to the list of things I’d love to do but can’t commit to because there are too many items on that list. A few days ago I stumbled across one of those simplify-your-life-articles. It says you should make a list of what’s important to you – and cut that list down to four or five items because more than that is unrealistic. Rings true to me, I feel like I have so many things I want to do that all it does is suck any energy right out of me, and leave me not only doing nothing I really want but also feeling guilty for it. Here’s to getting our priorities straight.

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    Living the country life

    I am back from another trip. More inspired than ever! I do apologize, though, to certain friends (Lisa, you know who you are) who worried my offline-ness might translate to „something bad happened“.

    Nothing bad happened – I was just hanging around somewhere without internet. You know, out there, in first life.

    Note to self: in the time and age of „There is no offline, there is only away from keyboard“, announce any awol from the virtual life (technically, is it „awl“ then?). At least for as long as there is no way to virtually transmit the bad smell coming from your apartment that might alarm your neighbors – who might not even care since you live in one of those anonymous big city shoe boxes – but not the ones who do care but don’t live close by. Another note to self: keep notes to self short…ish.

    Our friend lives in this house. She spent her childhood summers here – when it was still her grandma’s house. Pretty neat, don’t you think?

    Anyway. Peter and I were visiting a friend who lives the way we hope to do one day – somewhere on the Swedish countryside, growing lots of her own food, with no stupid electro smog. There was no internet. It was beautiful. Not because or despite that fact. It just was. Although we were only there from Thursday through Tuesday, this trip was a real learning and healing experience – most of all, unsurprisingly, about myself; my current state (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, … in any way) as well as my wishes for my future.

    This cozy little cabin was „our room“ for the time we where there.

    I realized that …

    • … a life closer to nature and more self-sufficient is not only what I imagine I want. It is what I do want.
    • … the difference between life in the city and on the countryside is not to be underestimated. My body had a hard time adjusting to physical labor (which does not always allow for ergonomic execution), my mind had a hard time accepting that I/we took so many breaks. I felt very unproductive, although our host did not express any such complaints – or any complaints at all. Here at home I want to get through with everything I have to do as quickly as possible, there you spread out the (more physically exhausting) work over the entire days, take it slow, take time for conversations, contemplation, simply being.
    • … I am especially unhappy with my job here at home.
    • … the difference between the life I am currently leading, and the life I want is huge. I had an episode of deep depression the second day when I realized that gap. I had no idea how I should get from one to the other, and this uncertainty scared and frustrated me. I still don’t know but I am hopeful now.
    Liverleaf – let’s turn more to the light like they do
    Hm, something’s wrong with this picture. Oh yeah: the chemtrails.
    Nothing wrong with this picture! We copiously drank tea made from calendula and dandelion – both, of course, „locally grown“ as you put it these days.
    Calendula – love the sound of the word, too.
    Before they become sunflowers. Our friend is a raw-foodie – so she, too, grows and eats a lot of sprouts. Her windowsills are a lot less „mono-cultural“ compared to ours. That’s gotta change!
    Buckwheat
    Well these tomato plantss obviously got a head start. (Look at my itty-bitty one further down …)
    Haven’t been able to find out what „tråer“ means (could be Norwegian?), nor do I – despite my general nosiness – know what’s in that bag. Just think it’s pretty.
    This is in the little cabin. I finally know how to start a fire. Yay!

    If you look closely you can maybe pretend to see the birch juice we collected in this bucket. We had no intentions of juicing this tree but when Peter removed what he thought was a dead branch – well, it turned out that it wasn’t dead. Luckily, the branch broke in a way that there was just enough left to hang that bucket. Thank you, dear birch tree, you tasted delicious!
    Despite my vertigo I managed to paint some of the eaves. Apparently this is something you need to do the first few years to make these kinds of log cabins „weatherproof“. We used a mixture of linseed oil and tar, so no poo – and it smells really good, too.
    Our friend covers her flower beds throughout the winter with a thick layer of straw/hay to protect the plants beneath from the nip. We thought it was time to pull away the blanket and get the roots out of bed but the ground was still partly frozen.

    When we came home I was excited to see if any of the seeds I had sown had grown anything during our absence. The score: two tomato plants are sprouting and I can see the beginning of morning glory.

    Like I said: teensy tiny.
    … unlike the mint. Peter says it’s the coffee grounds but I think he just says that because it was him who thought of that, and he wants all the credit for it. My theory: this plant is just amazing!

  • Bewusst Leben,  Sarines Göteborg

    Planting the seed(s)

    Besides uploading pictures and doing laundry, I also used my free day to finally do what I have been wanting to do for weeks but put off on accounts of the sucky weather – not that that’s changed but I’ve really had it! Yes, I sowed some seeds. Look:

    All organic, yay!
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    As you can tell, I used egg cartons to pre-grow seedlings. Even felt compelled to make some labels. Here they are, in case you want plant labels in Swedish/German/English for cilantro, parsley, basil, nasturtium, morning glory (love the name), and tomato. I just printed the page twice and glued them together with a stick I made from cardboard in between.

    We’ll see how this grows, I hope.