Claimer

Whenever I check out blogs, I stumble over the disclaimer part. One part of me is all: Oh shit, I don’t have one! Better fix that. It almost seems like that’s the first thing you should write before you start posting! Another part of me wonders: Really? Is it necessary to tell people that I am not responsible for what they think about, and do with what I write? I mean, sure, words are powerful but this seems kind of insulting. I don’t want to assume that my readers are idiots. But I don’t know, maybe I’m naive.

I am curious, though, what would happen if I did the opposite – made a claimer. IF I were to write such a thing, it would look like this:

I hereby declare that I, and I alone am responsible for your thoughts and actions. I am an expert on everything (which is why I write a BLOG). So please do exactly as I say, don’t even bother thinking for yourself, and by all means: sue me when something goes wrong!

What do you think would happen IF I made such a claimer? What would a lawsuit look like IF I did? „Well, I am sorry Miss W. but you DID say on your BLOG that you were responsible for anything anyone thought. So when Mr. Schnickelfritz, after reading one of your articles, cut off his left thumb to see if he could transcend physical pain, it’s really your fault. You did write that claimer, so – this one’s really on you.“

Is this how things work?