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Meine Woche in Bildern

Voilà. Einrichten und Einleben, online dating, Dhuni.

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Spaziergang im Wald // Walk in the forest
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Endlich einen Lippenstift gefunden, der nicht nach 3 Sekunden verschwindet. (Gelernt: Es sind die fettbasierten, die halten! Danke, Sevda, für den Tip :-*) // Finally found a lipstick that lasts longer than 3 seconds. (Learned that it’s the fat-based ones that stick. Thank you, Sevda, for the tip!)
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Neue Musik entdeckt // Discovered new music
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Baum-Selfie // Tree selfie
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<3 <3 <3

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Habe versehentlich Plastikpflanzen fürs Bad gekauft. Aber wie soll ich das in einem Blumenladen ahnen! Sie dürfen trotzdem bleiben. // Accidentally bought plastic plants – but how was I supposed to figure that, it was a flower store!? I decided to let them stay.
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A propos was ganz anderes: ich habe mir ein Online-Dating-Profil zugelegt. Muss sagen, es ist sehr interessant, was ich dabei über mich und andere lerne. // Speaking of something completely different: got myself an online dating profil. I have to say it’s pretty fascinating what I am learning about myself and others.
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Erster Sonntag im Monat – Dhuni. War schön, wie immer. D. h., es muss noch besser gewesen sein als sonst, denn ich habe kein Croissant abbekommen und war trotzdem zufrieden! 😛 // First Sunday of the month means Dhuni. Loved it, as always. But it must have been a really good one because I didn’t get a croissant and I was still loving it. So, that’s how great it was.
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Habe Gardinen in zwei der Gästezimmern angebracht. Passen zu der schönen Bettwäsche, die eine Kollegin zu Weihnachten gekauft hatte. Und ja, sie stammen von dem gelb-blauen Möbelhaus und es fällt mir schwer, mir einen Witz zu verkneifen, dass unsere Gäste jetzt hinter schwedischen Gardinen schlafen … // Put up new curtains in two of the guest rooms. They match the lovely bed sheets a colleague gave us as a Christmas gift.
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Wieder bei mir. // Back to my place.
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Die Zeichnung hat auch endlich einen Rahmen bekommen. // This drawing finally got a frame, too.
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War als Teenie großer Calvin & Hobbes-Fan und habe diesen Hobbes mit ca. 18 aus Papiermaché gemacht. // Was a huge Calvin & Hobbes fan as a teen. Made this Hobbes from paper maché when I was about 18.

Woran Projekte in Wahrheit scheitern und wie sie wirklich gut laufen | Meine Woche in Worten

Ich habe das Gefühl, jeder Tag ist eine einzige Wundertüte mit neuen Erkenntnissen. Was ich ganz toll finde! Und inzwischen sind es so viele, dass ich mich endgültig von der Vorstellung verabschiedet habe, alles davon dokumentieren und teilen zu können. Vor allem beim Spazierengehen könnte ich ständig stehen bleiben, um eine neue Einsicht schnell ins smart phone einzutippen, in dem Wunsch, dass es als Gedankenstütze dient, dass ich das Ganze einfach später ausformulieren und daraus einen Blog (oder wenigstens einen Facebook-Post) machen könnte.

Wie gesagt, ich habe eingesehen, dass ich mich wohl besser von dieser Vorstellung verabschiede. Also probiere ich heute etwas Neues aus: ich nehme mir eben nicht vor, meine Notizen zu den Erkenntnissen der vergangenen Woche durchzugehen und „abzuarbeiten“. Stattdessen nehme ich mir einfach Zeit, um einen Blog zu schreiben – im Vertrauen, dass das, was wirklich geteilt werden möchte, mir jetzt durch die Finger fließt und euch dann als Sonntagslektüre dient. Ich schreibe diese Zeilen am frühen Samstag Nachmittag, und die Vorstellung gefällt mir – einen Blog für den Sonntag Vormittag zu haben, den ihr dann gemütlich beim Frühstücken und Abhängen lesen könnt.

Also, was mir total unter den Nägeln brennt mit euch zu teilen ist ein wiederkehrendes Lieblingsthema: die Frage, ob es wichtiger ist, Dinge „richtig“ zu machen – oder sie eben zu machen. Diejenigen von euch, die mich kennen, wissen, dass meine Antwort ein Elizabeth-Gilbert-Zitat ist (jedenfalls ist mir dieser Ausdruck bei ihr zum ersten Mal begegnet): done is better than good. Erledigt ist besser als gut.

Ich hole mir dieses Zitat immer wieder ins Bewusstsein, wenn ich gerade mal wieder auf dem Weg bin, mich in Perfektionismus zu verstricken. Denn das ist genau dieses Phänomen: wenn wir es „richtig“ oder „besonders gut“ machen wollen, dann laufen wir Gefahr überhaupt nicht fertig zu werden. Weil uns dann noch dies stört, jenes fehlt und erstmal muss dann doch vielleicht noch …

Also, absolut, für manche Dinge gibt es tatsächlich Zeitfenster – aber die spüre ich immer daran, ob ich Lust habe, etwas zu tun, oder eben nicht. Da gilt es dann manchmal auch, sich irgendwann komplett von einem Vorhaben zu verabschieden, wenn deutlich wird: da habe ich einfach grundsätzlich keine Lust zu, ich dachte nur ich sollte …

Wenn man einmal die Kraft des „Einfach machen“ entdeckt, dann ist es, als wäre man durch den Spiegel in ein Wunderland geschlüpft.

In der vieles, was lange nur zäh bis gar nicht ging, auf einmal ganz leicht fließt! Die eigentliche Herausforderung ist der Schritt davor. Es erfordert nämlich, dass wir unsere Vorstellungen, wie etwas zu sein/funktionieren hat, loslassen. Wir sollten sie uns zwar gestatten, unbedingt, denn da steckt ja sozusagen der Wunsch drin, der das Ziel vorgibt. Aber dann eben loslassen.

Beispiel Nr. 1 Der Online-Shop | Warum’s erst nicht lief und dann doch

Mein bestes Beispiel ist mein Etsy-Shop, um den ich lange einen Eiertanz veranstaltet habe, weil … ach, ich weiß schon gar nicht mehr. Wegen mehrerer Anläufe, die frustrierend waren, wegen Vorstellungen, wie ich den zu füllen und bedienen hätte, was dabei heraus kommen sollte … Es kam dann auch der Moment, in dem ich mich fragte, ob ich das Ganze nicht besser lassem sollte. Und da wurde mir plötzlich klar: nein! Ich wollte den Shop, aber eben nicht aus den Gründen, die ich mir eingeredet hatte.

Ich wollte den Shop nicht, weil mir das unglaublich lukrativ erschien, sondern einfach weil ich nunmal einen haben wollte. Weil ich Etsy einfach toll finde und den Wunsch hatte, Teil dieser Welt des handgemachten Zaubers zu sein. Denn genau das bin doch ich! Als ich mir das eingestand, ging es plötzlich leicht und ohne Druck. Ich hatte keine Erwartungen mehr an mich, wie schnell ich daran arbeiten würde, und was dabei (kurzfristig) finanziell heraus kommen sollte. Es war einfach eine kleine Spielerei, die ich mir gönnte.

Mein Etsy-Shop ist für mich ein Beweis, dass es einfach mehr Spaß macht, Dinge zu tun, die man gerne tun möchte, als es zu lassen. Dass die Freude nicht vom Rückfluss abhängt, den der Verstand sich ausrechnet, sondern daher kommt, dass wir sagen können „Das habe ich gemacht“. Perfektionismus ist der Nummer-1-Killer von „Ich habe das gemacht“.

So richtig deutlich, dass es um dieses „Ich habe das gemacht“ geht, wurde mir, als ich ein Silke-Schäfer-Video (eine Astrologin) anschaute, in dem sie auf eine Studie verwies, derzufolge Menschen auf dem Sterbebett nicht darüber nachdenken, was sie in ihrem Leben alles „richtig“ oder „falsch“ gemacht haben, sondern das bedauern, was sie alles nicht gemacht haben.

Mir war sofort klar: das stimmt, genau darum geht’s. Und deswegen ist es eben so schade, wenn wir uns Dinge verwehren, aus dem Glauben heraus, dass wir doch gar nicht gut genug darin seien.

Beispiel Nr. 2 (K)Eine Webseite | Wie es dazu kommt, dass wir mit gar nichts dastehen, wenn wir ganz viel wollen

Dann musste ich an einen meiner Kunden denken, dem ich vor einiger Zeit eine Webseite gestaltet habe. Er wollte seine Inhalte alleine zusammenstellen und sich dann melden. Jedes Mal, wenn wir uns sprachen, wirkte er schuldbewusst (dabei spielt es für mich ja eigentlich keine Rolle) und erklärte mir, dass er erst noch dies oder jenes müsse, oder dass etwas dazwischen gekommen sei … und mir tat der gute Mann einfach nur leid, denn effektiv bewirkte sein hoher Anspruch an sich selbst ja nur, dass er mich zwar bezahlt, aber trotzdem gar keine Webseite hatte.

Ich bot ihm schließlich an, ihm auch mit den Inhalten zu helfen. Tatsächlich könnte die Webseite innerhalb von kurzer Zeit veröffentlicht werden – nicht, weil ich notwendigerweise mehr Fachkenntnisse über die Inhalte habe, sondern weil so ein Termin bewirkt, dass man sich hinsetzt und die Dinge einfach macht. Und natürlich ist es leichter, wenn ein geschultes und wohlwollendes (!) zweites Paar Augen die eigenen Texte überprüft und erkennt, wo es tatsächlich noch etwas zu klären gibt – und wo die Selbstzweifel einfach unberechtigt sind.

Gemeinschafts-Projekte | Es ist nicht unbedingt das „Nein“, dass uns blockiert

Wir stehen uns nicht nur selbst im Weg, wenn wir an Vorstellungen festhalten, wie etwas auszusehen/abzulaufen hat. Kollaborationen und Gruppen-Projekte lassen sich so mit Leichtigkeit komplett lahmlegen. Es braucht tatsächlich nur sehr wenig, damit genau das eintritt. Man könnte meinen, es ist das Veto einer oder mehrer Personen, das entscheidet, ob etwas stattfindet oder nicht. So habe ich das lange selbst gesehen. Dass ein „Nein“ zwangsläufig ein Aus ist. Inzwischen habe ich eine andere Beobachtung gemacht: das „Nein“ ist nicht so sehr der kritische Punkt, sondern die Bereitschaft aller am Entscheidungsprozess beteiligten, anzuerkennen dass eben alle, die involviert sind Bedürfnisse haben. Dass diese berücksichtigt werden müssen, damit eine positive Entscheidung, die zu Handlung führt, getroffen werden kann.

Im Grund funktioniert es genauso, wie wenn wir alleine an unseren Projekten basteln und merken, es will einfach nicht so gelingen, wie wir uns das vorgestellt haben. Das bedeutet nicht, dass es nicht geht, es bedeutet nur, dass wir unsere Vorstellungen ziehen lassen müssen und uns für Möglichkeiten öffnen, die tatsächlich funktionieren. Ein „Nein“ bedeutet nicht immer „Nein, ich will das nicht“. Es bedeutet vielmehr „Nein, ich möchte das anders, als du es vorschlägst“. Und dann ist die entscheidende Frage: ist es wichtiger, dass es so läuft, wie wir uns das vorgestellt haben – oder ist es wichtiger, dass es überhaupt läuft?

Beispiel 3 (K)Ein Hauskauf | Warum ich mein Traumhaus erst bekam, als ich mich davon verabschiedete

Wenn es uns gelingt, darauf zu vertrauen, dass es eine Lösung gibt, die die Bedürfnisse aller Beteiligten berücksichtigt, dann werden wir ganz schnell überrascht: ich erinnere mich zum Beispiel an den Hauskauf mit meinem damaligen Partner. Ich war sofort verliebt in das Haus, 100%ig überzeugt, dass es Das Haus Und Kein Anderes war – das einzige Problem (laut mir) war, dass er das einfach nicht sehen wollte und mit tausend Einwänden kam. Ich fühlte mich ernsthaft verzweifelt und war voller Wut, dass diese unmögliche Person, die mich doch lieben sollte, mir diesen Traum kaputt zu machen schien! Bis mir klar wurde: wenn es das richtige Haus FÜR UNS BEIDE sein sollte, dann mussten wir beide das so sehen.

Und da das offensichtlich nicht der Fall war, konnte es also nicht Das Haus sein, so schwer mir das fiel es anzuerkennen. Resigniert sagte ich also „OK, dann lass uns die Verkäufer nicht länger hinhalten, wir sagen Bescheid, dass wir nicht interessiert sind und schauen weiter“. Was dann passierte? Wir kauften das Haus. Nachdem ich ablassen konnte davon, meinen Partner zu zwingen, die Dinge wie ich zu sehen, konnte er das gleiche tun. Seine Sicht war plötzlich frei für alles, was ihm auch am Haus gefiel und dass seine Anmerkungen das nicht aufwogen.

Es ist ganz egal, ob es die großen oder die kleinen gemeinsamen Entscheidungen sind – sie scheitern gleichermaßen, sobald wir nicht bereit sind, den Bedürfnissen aller Beteiligten gleichermaßen Raum zu geben – und zwar unabhängig von fachlicher Kompetenz. Das ist einer der wichtigsten Aspekte für mich aus dieser „Erkenntnis-Serie“: Kein Experten-Status auf irgendeinem Sachgebiet trumpft die menschlichen Bedürfnisse.

Beispiel Nr. 4 Texte zusammen schreiben | Worauf es wirklich ankommt

Ein solcher Aha-Moment war für mich, als eine Veranstaltung mit einem Freund organisierte. Ich hatte – meiner Meinung nach – den perfekten Text geschrieben (ich muss es ja wissen, schließlich bin ich Autorin, Journalistin, Akademikerin, blablabla). Als dieser Freund dann – zu meinem Erstaunen – sich nicht vor Begeisterung überschlug, sondern es doch glatt wagte, meinen Text zu kritisieren, war ich erstmal ziemlich angefressen. Mein erster Gedanke: „Och nö, jetzt werden wir hier Stunden zubringen, den Text zu zerpflücken und es wird eine Katastrophe, weil der doch von Texten keine Ahnung hat! Da habe ich keinen Bock drauf.“

Zu dem Zeitpunkt war ich immerhin doch etwas geübt darin, für mich selber vom Perfektionismus mehr und mehr abzulassen und einfach öfter darauf zu vertrauen, dass das Ergebnis meiner Mühen nicht immer so aussieht, wie ich mir das erhoffe, dass sein eigentlich Zweck aber doch immer gut genug erfüllt (bzw. meist sogar besser, als gedacht). Also seufzte ich einmal innerlich und sagte mir „Ok, neues Ziel: ich will einfach nur so schnell wie möglich mit dem Text fertig werden, dass wir die Veranstaltung ausschreiben können“. Das Ende vom Lied war, dass der Text, den wir gemeinsam verfassten, tatsächlich richtig gut war – und zwar nicht nur ok-genug-um-ihn-zu-veröffentlichen-Gut, sondern besser-als-mein-ursprünglicher-Text-Gut.

Mir wurde mein Hochmut so richtig schön bewusst: mein Mit-Veranstalter mochte kein Autor gewesen sein, aber weshalb sollte er nicht (wie übrigens jeder Mensch!?) ein Gespür dafür haben, was gut klingt? Und warum sollte es da nicht eine Überschneidung mit meinem eigenen Gespür geben?

Ich glaube, das ist der Kern: wir dürfen uns zum Einen darin üben, darauf zu vertrauen, dass es unsere eigene innere Stimme uns nicht betrügt. Dass wir ihr mehr Raum geben dürfen, dort, wo uns unsere Vorstellungen in die Irre führen. Und gleichzeitig dürfen wir uns darin üben, darauf zu vertrauen, dass das bei anderen genauso funktioniert, wie bei uns. Dass auch sie so eine innere Stimme haben. Und das ist für mich das Wunder des Gemeinschafts-Geistes: wenn wir darauf vertrauen, dass, wenn unsere Stimmen sich zu widersprechen scheinen, es eine weitere Lösung gibt. Und dass dabei eben kein Kompromiss herauskommt, der bedeutet, dass alle gleichermaßen unzufrieden sind. Sondern eben etwas viel Schöneres, etwas, dass alles übertrifft, was jedeR einzelne sich zu Beginn vorstellen konnte.

Ich bin jedenfalls voller Begeisterung und Entschlusskraft. Mich in meinen eigenen Projekten öfter darauf einzulassen, Dinge zu tun, als sie bleiben zu lassen, wenn sie nicht meinen Vorstellungen entsprechen wollen. Mich noch öfter daran zu erinnern, dass der Spaß an Gemeinschaftsaktionen darin liegt, gemeinsam herauszufinden, wie sich etwas umsetzen lässt, anstatt etwas „durchzusetzen“ und andere von der eigenen Sicht zu überzeugen.

Ich habe in der vergangenen Woche, als diese Dinge in mein Bewusstsein kamen, ein Video dazu aufgenommen. Der Inhalt ist mehr oder weniger der gleiche wie der dieses Textes, aber ich poste es hier trotzdem unter dem Text. Ich finde, Energie kommt in Videos so unmittelbar rüber – und das hier habe ich in diesem richtig schönen Aha-Moment-Bliss aufgenommen. Außerdem habe ich ja beschlossen, lieber Sachen zu machen als sie bleiben zu lassen.

Ich wünsche dir einen gemütlichen Sonntag und uns allen, dass wir uns mehr für die Wunder öffnen, die der Verstand nicht planen oder kontrollieren kann. An jedem Wochentag.

Alles Liebe,

Sarine

https://youtu.be/EMjB7O_VjNQ

 

Meine Woche in Bildern

Kurze Erklärung zu den Bildern am Ende des Posts.

 

01 Habe mir selbst ein Geschenk gemacht … siehe Bild Nr. 29 (der Becher)

02 Das Notizbuch habe ich für eine Kreativ-Arbeit mit einer Kundin gekauft – also, ich habe natürlich zwei gekauft, eines für sie, eines für mich. 🙂

03 & 04 Alles, was das Künstlerherz begehrt – ebenfalls für die Kreativ-Arbeit am vergangenen Samstag.

05 & 06 Am Sonntag folgte dann der Webseiten-Workshop bei Padmaya in Uster. Es gab schön viel Raum für praktische, direkte Umsetzung der Fragen, inspirierende Gespräche – und leckeres Essen, mit dem Padmaya uns versorgt hat.

07 Am Montag war Shakti-Feuer, ein Feuer-Ritual, das dem weiblichen Anteil  der Schöpferkraft gewidmet ist. Auf dem Tablett sind Öl und Reis (gibt man ins Feuer) und Farbe (damit zeichnet man die Segnung auf die Stirn der Teilnehmer – wenn sie einem nicht, wie mir, an diesem Tag einfriert, weil man sie zu früh raus stellt).

08  Spaziergang

09 Spaziergang-Selfie

10 Nur Selfie

11 Angekommen – Eine Heilungsblumenzeichnung, inspiriert durch ein Gespräch mit meinen MitbewohnerInnen, eben um das Thema Angekommensein. Kann man kaufen, zusammen mit einer Behandlung (geht auch auf Distanz) zum Thema. Bei Interesse schreib mir an hallo@sarineturhede.com

12 Spaziergangs-Selfie

13 Tassen-Selfie (Ja, das ist immer noch die Tasse, die mir meine Freundin Lisa vor 2,5 Jahren geschenkt hat und die mich auf meiner Weltreise begleitet hat.)

14 Die allererste Heilungsblume, die ich gezeichnet habe. Zum Thema Erinnerung an die Verbindung zu den Naturwesen.

15 & 16 Wurzel-Chakra-Affirmationen, im Desktop-Hintergrund-Format. Gibt’s als Gratis-Download auf meiner Business-Webseite: https://sarineturhede.com/gratis-downloads/ Hatte schon länger den Wunsch, eine Seite mit Gratis-Sachen zu machen, die eben so richtig gratis sind, ohne dass man sich in einen Newsletter eintragen muss. Da fand ich diese Affirmation sehr passend als Auftakt – Meine Kraft kommt aus meiner Wahrheit.

17 Habe meinen zweiten Workshop zum Thema „Mit Freude die eigene Webseite gestalten“ ausgeschrieben. Diesmal in Hamburg, am 16. Februar. Mehr Info dazu gibt’s hier: https://sarineturhede.com/2019/01/24/mit-freude-die-eigene-webseite-gestalten-tages-workshop-hamburg-16-februar-2019/

18 Mein Lieblingsbaum, heute (Samstag) beim Gang runter ins Dorf fotografiert.

19 Die göttliche Mutter, auch so ein Lieblingsplatz von mir hier auf Amritabha.

20 Die Burgen.

21 Mein Frühstück: Croissant, heute ausnahmsweise mal nicht mit Kaffee, sondern heißer Schokolade (die erstmal wie Milch aussah, weil es so ein Schoko-Klumpen war, der am Stiel steckte, den man dann umrührt).

22 Vogel-Selfie. Also, ich bei Vogel. So heißt das eine meiner beiden Lieblings-Cafés hier im Ort.

23 Schönes Grafik-Design haben die auch.

24 „Am 17 April 1891 ist hier absolut gar nichts passiert.“ Eines der besten Schilder, die ich jemals gesehen habe.

25 Samstag ist Markttag.

26 Manche haben die Weihnachtsdeko gerne noch etwas länger hängen … Warum auch nicht?!

27 Ribeauvillé

28 Wollte euch eigentlich meine neuen Stiefel zeigen, die ich mir heute gekauft habe, aber die Kamera hat dann doch lieber auf die Hose mit William-Morris-Muster fokussiert. Kann’s verstehen, die ist auch echt toll.

29 Da isses, das Geschenk aus BIld Nr. 01. Der Becher. Natürlich nicht als Ersatz für die Lisa-Tasse, sondern als Komplement!

30 Honig, heute vom Markt.

31 Würde ja gerne behaupten, dass ich nur fürs Foto so viel davon ins Schälchen getan habe, aber das wäre glatt gelogen. Manche mögen’s eben süß.

32 A propos: ein Glück habe ich am Donnerstag Schoko-Kekse gebacken! So brauchte ich am Freitag, als ich einfach nur platt war, nicht einkaufen gehen, sondern konnte einfach im Bett liegen, meine Tage haben und Schoko-Kekse essen.

33 Die Dose ist so schön, verdient zwei Bilder.

34 Der Inhalt. Chocolate chip cookies mit weißer Schoki.

35 Tulpen.

36 Verdienen auch zwei Bilder. Mehr Platz für die schönen Dinge im Leben!

Happy New Year

Hi everyone, I hope you have had a good start into 2019. I feel like a little recap is in order (I know you know that I can’t keep things short but I will try). My last post on here was pictures and thoughts from the light festival at Amritabha in the beginning of June. That was the first time I came back to visit since my stay as a short term resident last year (that was in the beginning of my trip around the world that ended sooner than I had anticipated – I wrote about that here on the blog). In September I returned to Amritabha, this time for a little longer.

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Boy, as I am writing this I am beginning to understand how much I have not been sharing on here, and how it seems kind of complicated to write about it – those of you who follow me on Instagram (@sarineturhede) may have noticed that I have been sharing a little more of my daily life in the stories. I am getting used to talking in front of the camera, and it feels like it may actually be easier to tell you the story of my past year. Why I ended the trip around the world (I can see now that I was being a little cryptic in the blog post), why I ended up in Stade, why I am back in Amritabha now although I still feel in my heart that Sweden is home …

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It’s funny, re-opening the blog was what I needed to be able to share anything on any channel – and at the same time it’s also making me realize that I feel like trying something new, like vlogging. It feels so good to be writing here again but it also feels liberating to give myself permission to look at things differently, to consider other forms of expression.

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If there is one thing I am understanding about myself better and better it’s that I love change, that I am best when I am free and open to approach things as if I were doing them for the first time.

The consistency is not the form of expression but the fact that I want to express myself, share my story, share my perspective, and to inspire you to express yourself, share your story.

That is the constant in my life, and whenever I have draught periods where I don’t do that, it’s probably because I was holding on to an idea of how I should be doing it, or what I should and should not be sharing. If I have learned anything is that I want to free myself from these constraints, I want to keep allowing myself to explore new media of expression, and also: I want to not take things so seriously that I feel like „Oh, but I can’t share this“/“I don’t want the world to see me like that“/“I need to be better at this before I can show anything“.

Sorry if this is a total rant and maybe this doesn’t make sense to you at all but when I have these phases where I don’t share, it’s like something in me bottles up and when I finally open up again, there is so much that wants out. And that’s ok. I think this is exactly the point: to give ourselves permission to show up and share what we have to bring to the table, whatever it is at that point.

20180308_15-29-31SchreibenIstLiebe

Not everything is going to be our greatest work ever but the greatest work comes as much from inspired action as it does from being persistent, from keeping at it, from writing/painting/filming ourselves through all the other days.

I am aware that chances are there will be more days/phases in my life where I will want to take a break from sharing my story because I won’t feel like there’s a point. But I know that so far I have never regretted anything I have shared, and that I have often wished that I had continued even when I didn’t see the point.

20170729_11-08-10Plum_tree_Sarine

Ok, this is getting super long, but I just want to get into why I took down Road to Walden and the decided to re-open it again (I don’t even know if any of you are wondering about that but I am telling you anyway :-D). I think it all really started when my blog – well: I – was getting more attention, during my time here at Amritabha.

20170729_10-59-40Plum_tree_Sarine

Suddenly there was this possibility in the air that I would go into business for myself (which I did and which was the best decision of my life), and I think I started having this idea that my online presence should be more centered around my person, not some blog title that nobody really seemed to get anyway. Also it felt a little strange starting to mix business posts into this blog that up until then had been simply personal.

20181004_14_40_07_Sarine_by_Sina

So I got the domain sarineturhede.com and started building a more business-focused website. I thought I would just share my personal story on Instagram and Facebook, and I guess I thought it would be a good way for me to practice writing shorter texts. Plus the fact that I was going through a pretty tough time after my return to Germany, where things felt very out of focus, and sometimes plain wrong. I simply had a hard time wanting to show myself to the world that way.

2017-04-09_18-26-31Stade

For a while I even thought I would make eBooks from my old blog posts as a symbol of self-appreciation, and then delete the blog completely and not share my personal story anymore at all. I can’t remember what exactly it was that made me change my mind but eventually I just realized that yes, I do believe in creating great content for my business site. I love giving practical tips on different technical issues. I love exploring all these great tools that are out there for us to share our message, and I am happy to help others discover them.

20170729_11-07-16Plum_tree_Sarine

But I realized that I don’t work well when my focus is on this very straight-forward business-mindedness. Like, this idea that I need to produce something with that has to be of direct/obvious value to anyone. I think it was Agni who said

„Follow the money and you will lose your passion, follow your passion and money will follow you.“

That is so true for me and it really shows in my business. Whenever I step into that trap of thinking I need to approach things from a focus on money, that’s when things get really tough. And whenever I allow myself to do what I feel like (even or especially when I can’t immediately see how that could lead to any financial gain),  money finds it’s way to me with so much ease.

 

 

It was when I started observing what inspires me, who I love to follow, that I understood what I really value. And yes, I am grateful for all the tutorials that are out there that have helped me figure out how to do tech stuff. But what really gets me excited is people sharing their stories and their passion. Like Yoga Girl. Like the Dervaes family. Like Kristie Wolfe. Like Laura Hollick. The person that has been the biggest inspiration over the past days has been Jonna Jinton (and yes, it probably has a lot to do with my longing for Sweden that I think will not end until I move back there).

SarineTurhedePhotography

It became so obvious to me that I would never be happy with just a business site, and just sharing business related content. After all, the way I work, my life and my work are very connected. At a former work place I learned that „people buy from people“. And that is so true! It never takes long for me to recognize myself in the peron who is hiring me for a photo gig. There are a bunch of great photographers out there – so obviously there has to be a reason why anyone would choose me in particular.

We are drawn to kindred spirits. And what a great way to recognize one another through our stories.

This is maybe a paradox but as much as I love how business is personal for me these days, and the lines do get very blurry, it still felt right to re-open Road to Walden instead of just deciding to share personal stories on my business website. Actually, no, I do think it makes a lot of sense even from a business perspective. Because I do want to share my story with you regardless of whether you are interested in working with me. I don’t want my story to be some sort of „gimmick“ that is part of a marketing strategy. I want it to be free. I want us to be connected in freedom. It’s the deepest kind of connection.

20181114_07_56_18_Amritabha

Looking forward to breathing life back into this space, and to re-connect with you.

Creatively yours,

Sarine

Connected in freedom | How I do social media

Hey everybody, spring is truly upon us – maybe not so much out there but inside. Do you feel it, too? As always, when I am entering a new stage in my life, I take some time to reassess what I have done so far, and I re-think the way I have done things.

I feel like doing things differently with my various social media accounts. As you may or may not be aware, I have different ones for different services/themes in my life. Sarine Turhede Photography for my work as a photographer, Healing Art by Sarine for my work as a healer and artist, and Sarine Turhede, the account I originally started just to share my blog articles plus my personal account. Plus the Instagram version of these accounts (@sarineturhedephotography, @healing.art.by.sarine, @sarineturhede), and my blog here on www.sarineturhede.com.

I still feel good about using different channels for different interests because while yes, all of these interests are me, not everyone that is interested in my illustrations or my healing is necessarily interested in my photography, and so on. I know I appreciate when I can follow a specific interest I have in common with someone instead of having to scroll through EVERYTHING they are interested in.

So I am going to continue this social media strategy in the spirit of reader-friendliness. I want you to continue to be free to connect with me via what YOU are interested in – whether that is all of my services, a specific interest, or me as a person.

And in the spirit of direct and clear communication, I decided that I am going to change things up a little with my personal account and my page on facebook. Like I said, up until now the purpose of the two has been to share my blog articles on my page, and kind of anything that I felt like on my personal account. I used to share very little of others on my personal account because I always felt that when I click on someone’s personal profile, I want to see what that person is about, not what they think I should read or who they think is inspirational.

But I feel more and more these days, that expressing my appreciation for others work, for giving credit to those who inspire me, and lifting those who I think do good needs a place, while I still want to have a place that that is just me. Not because I want to create the illusion that the two are separate, of course who/what inspires me is deeply connected to what I put out. But because it’s how I like to be able to read things. I appreciate when I can follow specific people, their work or their interests, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I am interested in what they think is inspirational of who they think I should vote for.

So what I have come up with is that I want to use my personal facebook account more to lift people and phenomena that inspire me. Conversely I am going to use my blog and my facebook page more to share the stuff that is me. My thoughts on life, what I am doing. Both personal and business, but since my personal life right now is pretty much all about my business, you’ll see a lot of that.

Again, I want you to be free to connect with me on whatever level that interests YOU. No hard feelings if that means you’re going to unfollow me on some or even all channels. If you choose to follow my facebook page but not my personal account, make sure to click „see posts from this page first“ since facebook pretty much buries everything that comes from a page that isn’t a boosted post or an ad – unless you chose to see posts from that page first.

7 things about me | The VBA Part 3

So this is me jumping through the final hoop of the Versatile Blogger Award, according to which I am supposed to „tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself“. Katey, since this one’s for you, I am responding to a couple of things you said about yourself in your post:

  1. I cannot keep things short, which you probably have figured out by now, watching me turn this VBA thing into a three post series.
  2. I, too, love to travel, which I am doing right now. Your home country New Zealand is actually up next after Oz.
  3. I have been blogging on and off since I was 18. I used to delete my old blogs, though, when I started over. Don’t feel the need to erase the past anymore, although I don’t feel the need to relive it, either. I think it’s good that it is where it is. In my life but, well, in the past.
  4. I know the feeling of being in situations that require you to be more social than you feel comfortably with. For me it really depends on the situation and the people. I think I am naturally best at expressing myself in writing. When it comes to talking, it’s easier for me when I only have one person in front of me. For me realizing that what we all want most is being seen was really a helpful epiphany. Because suddenly I realized that not all situations require me to be that extrovert I thought I should be. They mostly require me to do what I am good at and more comfortable with anyway: listen to the person in front of me.
  5. I totally get the love/hate relationship when it comes to technology, especially social media. I’ve come to realize that how I use it makes all the difference. I have come to terms with the fact that I have different phases: sometimes I am more interested in producing content rather than reading what others have to say. Sometimes, when I do want inspiration, I find it there. Then there’s that tricky stage where I am about to dive into something new but seeing other people doing their thing just makes me envious. I have come to appreciate that envy, because I believe it’s pointing me to what I would like to do but am denying myself. Right now I am discovering the aspect of using social media to actually connect with others. Curious to see where that will lead … I thought this was pretty cool, seeing what an effect you had on me with your nomination, even though we’ve never met.  Thanks for reaching out!
  6. I love homemade ice-cream so much that I find it worth mentioning on here. I love peanut butter just as much. I am in this small town right now where the organic food store actually has peanut butter ice-cream that they seem to be making themselves!
  7. I am going to count number 6 as two items, just so that I can wrap this up now and go get some of that ice-cream before I start packing my stuff to go to Melbourne tomorrow. Oops, I guess there’s my number 7: this is a scheduled post, which I normally don’t like. But sometimes we just have to succumb to the reality of things, right? That it’s probably a little over-kill to post three blogs on this VBA thing in one day.

15 bloggers who inspire me | The VBA Part 2

„Honor those bloggers who bring something special to your life whether every day or only now and then.“ – I like that.

I thought I’d write a little about each of the 15 bloggers I chose because I want you to know what it is that I appreciate about them. That is not part of the VBA rules, and I now that I’ve done this I can see why: it’s very time-consuming. It’s taken me almost a week now to finish this post because even just writing a few lines about each blogger means I need to pinpoint what it is I love about these people. It felt like an important part of the process though (possibly even the most important one), so I guess it was worth the time. So here they are, in no particular order:

  1. Yolanda Bertaud from ByzantineFlowers – I love diy stuff, especially when it’s about health. I can’t count the times I made the coffee scrub. It’s addictive (in the best way!) and a great gift.
  2. Angela from Angie & James Do Stuff – Travel and food, two of the great loves of my life. This gluten-free chocolate cake is one of my all time favorites, especially during the wintertime.
  3. Kristie Wolf from Tiny House On The Prairie – It seems this lady is more active on Instagram and Facebook these days than on her blog. But I chose Kristie anyway because what she’s doing is just so amazing. I think she’s done four tiny houses now plus a wedding venue. I would especially love to check out the tiny tree house on Hawaii, and the Crystal Peak Lookout (and not just because I’m a crystal healer).
  4. The Dervaes Family from The Urban Homestead – When my ex-husband and I bought our house, I remember thinking that it was too little land. Then I came across The Urban Homestead and their film Homegrown Revolution, and that made me realize that it’s about what you make from what you get. Also, I had no idea what I was talking about at the time. We were totally overwhelmed by the „too small“ garden the first year(s). Don’t currently have my own garden but I still like to follow the Urban Homestead.
  5. Maria Österåker from Lev mer på mindre – A Finnish blog (in Swedish). Also a blog that I came across during my years on the Swedish country-side. It’s where I found the best diy for making your own deodorant ever.
  6. Rania Rönntoft from Rowan Tree. – Whenever I miss Sweden (and that does happen), and especially the Sundsvall area where I spent the past few years, this is my go-to blog. Lots of beautiful pictures which I’m sure you can appreciate even when you don’t understand Swedish.
  7. My mentor Irka Schmuck writes a blog on her homepage, and of course I think she’s inspirational – that’s why I chose her to coach me when I decided to start my own business. The blog’s in German. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in personal growth, especially when it comes to living in abundance. (Note: This is not an affiliate link or anything like that. I chose Irka because how could I not!?)
  8. Sina Nanasi is another source of inspiration to me when it comes to personal growth. Sina’s focus is on working with the inner child, so that’s what her blog (also in German) is about. It seems like the possibilities are endless these days when it comes to workshops and seminars in the field of personal and spiritual development. And that’s a good thing, in my opinion! Still, I’m picky. For a person who is so hugely interested in their personal growth, I go to very little workshops on the subject. I did go to Sina’s Inner Child Workshop (also in German), and it was full of revelations for me. (Again, this is not an affiliate link, either. I just can’t think of anyone who would not benefit from her Inner Child seminar.)
  9. Heather Baird from Sprinkle Bakes – Pastries and art, a very good combo. I discovered Heather when I came across her first recipe book, SprinkleBakes at the library. That was the first time I saw a cook book this fun and colorful – it appealed to my inner child and the artist in me (the two are pretty inseparable, really).
  10. Kristen Kay, Las Vegas Wedding Photographer. I’s not so much the weddings but the way Kristen captures the desert that I am interested in. When I was 17 I spent a year as an exchange student in a small town outside Las Vegas, and I still love the nature there and long for it from time to time. I know, it’s not the first thing you think of when you hear Vegas, and I think I can even hear some of you say „What nature!?“. So Kristen is my go-to girl whenever I miss the Mojave desert.
  11. Justina Blakeney from The Jungalow. I discovered The Jungalow on Instagram.If I could, that’s where I’d live. In Justina’s Instagram. 🙂 I don’t think I need to explain what I love here, the pictures speak for themselves. Like, loud and joyfully.
  12. Erin Benzakein from Floret Flowers. Another source of inspiration I found via Instagram. Maybe I could divvy up my time and partly live in The Jungalow, and partly on Erin’s Instagram feed … This is all my inner child dreaming out loud. Again, the pictures pretty much say it all, I feel no need to explain why I find Erin inspirational. Maybe I should add though, that Sarine means „The one who feeds the flowers of God“ …
  13. Rachel Brathen aka Yoga Girl. Rachel has definitely been one of my biggest sources of inspiration over the past years. I didn’t fall for her immediately, you can read about all the whys and hows and what changed my mind here. It’s her honesty about how she deals with life that inspires me. She’s one of those people that don’t make me go „Oh, I wish I was her“ but a constant reminder that „Oh, that’s right, I want to be myself more“.
  14. Kate Bingaman-Burt. I love her drawings, the style is so fun and playful, and it definitely inspires my own drawing. When I cleared out my stuff in order to start my traveling, her art prints where among the objects that meant the most to me. I am not very attached to stuff, but when I am, I always make sure that I know those things go to someone I know will appreciate them and give them a good home. So my KBB prints are with my sister now.
  15. Anja from Woodlights Woudlicht. I lovelove Anja’s beautiful and delicate crystal grids, and her poems that go with them. I love when healing and art come together like that. Seeing Anja’s crystal grids on Instagram made me want to find my way to combine my being a crystal healer with my artistic side. Thank you Anja for inspiring me to become Sarine’s Crystal Oracle.

I know there’s probably not much point in picking those really large accounts for an award like this, and part of me thinks I should have picked more people who would actually respond to the nomination, and also, that it would be nicer to pick those who have just begun to encourage them. But in the end, I did want to be true and pick those who bring joy to my everyday life, regardless of their size, and the likelihood of them responding to this. There are obviously a lot more people who inspire me, not all of them have a blog, and not all of them are on social media.

Doing this nominating thing made me aware that there’s this part of me that feels guilty, that wants to please everybody, and that wonders whether I hurt anybody’s feelings by not picking them … I guess this is where I come full circle, back to the issue I addressed in my first blog post on the VBA. If we feel unseen, or we do things because we’re seeking others validation, it’s really us who are not appreciating our own worth. When we do, others will follow.

OMG, I can’t believe this has turned into such a big thing. I still have one more hoop to jump through, which is telling Katey 7 things about me. I think I am going to make that a third (!?) post.

On being needy and recognizing our needs | The VBA Part 1

Something very nice happened to me: I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, by Katey from femenish.com. It’s a little funny because the other day when I checked out her blog, I saw that she had written a post on having been nominated for a blogging award, and how it was such a pleasant surprise for her, since she’d only been blogging for a month. That triggered me because I have been blogging for four years (on and off, but still) and I have never been nominated for anything! So I kind of just shut my computer before I even finished reading that post. If I had continued reading, I would have seen that Kat had nominated me.

I thought, „Oh, this is just your insatiable need for others‘ validation when you should be the one appreciating your own worth. Work on that instead of hoping that someone else will come along and tell you how wonderful you are.“ And I do believe that’s true, others‘ approval will never fill our need to feel good about ourselves and what we do, if we can’t also feel that within ourselves. But here’s the thing: I have a tendency to dismiss entire concepts pretty hastily when there’s really only bits that need adjusting.

When I received a message from Katey telling me that she’d nominated me, of course that made me happy, but I was still feeling conflicted about this. Part of me was going „These type of blogger awards are dumb, it’s just people telling other people how great they are in hopes of having others tell them how great they are. That’s what’s so annoying about social media, so little of what is shared is genuine appreciation or shared from wanting to inspire or be of service, most of it is just a cry for approval from others“.

Accepting that you need others, and that others do want to support you is a greater experience than trying to play the lone wolf

Usually that’s where I close that topic but that day a new voice spoke up, and suddenly the conversation in my head took on a different spin:
„People cheering others on, and wanting others to cheer them on – what is so dumb about that? It’s really wonderful actually because, guess what, if you’re waiting for the day where you become this island, where you don’t need anybody else anymore, nobody’s opinion affects you, you’re fully self-sufficient, that day will never come. And besides, why would you even want that? Being needy is part of the human experience, and yes, it’s great to be aware that others can’t fill the hole of low self-esteem, but whatever happened to kindness towards yourself? Maybe accepting your neediness and appreciating that others encouragement means something to you, and that it exists, maybe that is a much greater experience than that lone wolf thing you’ve been trying to pull off.“

Suddenly I could understand why the neediness I so often observed on social media had bothered me so much (and also: why I was seeing it everywhere). It was my own neediness, or rather: my rejection of the fact that I, too, need other people’s support and encouragement.

We can’t dump our issues on others but if we are willing to deal with them ourselves, there are ways for others to support us

I believe that it takes both: we can’t just take our baggage and dump it on somebody. That always backfires, either immediately when we are disappointed that we didn’t get the reaction we hoped for or in the long run. If we find someone who is willing to take our crap and bear it for us, we will eventually be forced to deal with guilt and a sense of powerlessness. But if we are willing to do the work it takes to deal with our own issues, then there are ways for others to genuinely support us. If we turn to others, not blackmailing them emotionally to save us but rather communicating honestly what we’re dealing with, that gives others a chance to be there for us, not as the hostage of our emotions but as our witness.

Being your own witness is the first and most important step. I also know that sometimes it’s not enough for me to see my own mess. I need for at least one friend (or a friendly person) to see it, too. Not to do anything about it – just seeing it, that is all the doing it takes. I don’t think we can or should get rid of that need. It’s usually the attempt to do so that turns us into that annoying needy person. The emotions we’re trying to bottle up (so that we don’t burden others) are forcing their way out and blow up in someones face. And sometimes we have to be ok with that, too.

Here’s to cheering each other on, and here’s to witnessing ourselves and others in all our glory and all our mess. Here’s to knowing that we need each other and knowing that we also have something to offer each other.

Thank you, Katey, for cheering me on with this nomination!

That’s rule #1 btw: when you’re nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, thank the person who nominated you. In the spirit of keeping things a little not so extremely long anymore, I divvied up this blog post on the VBA. So, if you want to know what this award is about, which 15 bloggers inspire me (that’s rule #2 btw), and which 7 things I want Katey to know about me (rule #3), I have two more posts coming up on each of those. I can hardly believe that this turned into such a big thing but it did! It took me several days just to write the post about which bloggers inspire me. My own „fault“ since I wanted to write a little about what inspires me about them – now I know why that’s not in the rules. It’s extremely time-consuming! But I this was the most important part to me, so no regrets for making that time.

On blogging again

So. I guess I’m blogging again. Yay! How terrifying! There has been an ongoing internal debate over the past weeks (months?!) on that issue. 1. whether or not to blog at all, 2: if so, why and why now, 3: what and what not, and finally: how to begin.

In case you are a more result-oriented person: 1. Yes, 2. Because I want to, because now’s a good time 3. Whatever I want to, 4. Like this.

In case you are a woman interested in the journey as much as the destination, lhere’s a more detailed version:

1. Yes or no?

When I noticed the wish to blog again, two sides of me emerged: one wanted nothing more than to get started, it even felt that it was absolutely critical that I start immediately, that any delay would be terrible, and that I absolutely must go ahead. Right. Away. The other side felt like I had nothing to say, nothing to share that could possibly be of any value to anyone. And the internet is already full of people who do that.

Also, the side of me that felt hesitant was concerned about the obvious risk in the instant nature of blogging, or social media in general: you think it’s a great idea to share something you’re going through – and then you realize it’s not. Because you don’t get the reaction you weren’t even aware you’d wished for, or maybe you didn’t want to any at all. Or maybe you did and nobody said anything. Bottom line:  All that happens is you add drama to your pain.

At the end of the day, conflicting feelings arise no matter what I do when I do it for the first time (or the first time after a long time). And there are always valid points to both sides. (Coming up: a post on how I deal with these conflicting feelings.) For now let me just say that at the end of the day it’s a good idea to be aware of all your emotions involved in a decision – and then to make a choice and do what makes you happy. That doesn’t mean the other side disappears but you can make active choices on how to handle that side of you.

2. Why, and why now?

I realized that my reason for not blogging had been that for a very long time I was afraid that being visible in that way would trigger emotions within me which I could not calculate beforehand. It was a good thing I listened to that feeling for as long as I did feel vulnerable, and people’s reactions (or lack thereof) to what I would have shared only would have caused drama.

Eventually I came to the point where protecting myself by not putting myself out there didn’t feel good anymore. I understood that, yes, if I do allow myself to be visible, I make myself vulnerable, and that will stir up emotions in me regardless of any external reactions. But I had begun to feel unhappier about not allowing anyone to see me. I realized that I would feel a lot better about just doing what I feel like, and there was even curiosity as to what kind of emotions that would trigger, and how I would deal with them. I simply came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to avoid any potential emotions anymore if that meant not doing something I really enjoy. Because no matter where I go, they are always there with me anyway – emotions, thoughts and ideas of how I/things „should be“.

There is a middle ground. It’s possible to face my doubts without forcing myself to tackle anything I’m not ready to take on. To be honest without unnecessarily exposing myself. To write and share what moves and engages me without navel-gazing. To be spontaneous and following anything that intrigues me without being random and all over the place.

3. What?

What is the thread connecting it all? I’ll write about what I wish someone would have told me. My earlier mission statement(s) for this blog still passes the test of time: I want to live my life deliberately, and I want to document and share that journey. That is the thread tying it all together, it’s what I’ve been interested in ever since I was fourteen, read Sofie’s World, and understood what it meant to be self-aware. Then came Thoreau’s Walden, and the notion of living deliberately impressed me equally. And a bunch of other books and experiences that are too many to list here (that’s maybe another post – or a gazillion).

My idea of what deliberate living means have changed. For a while I even attempted to follow Thoreau quite literally (although he was never expressly the reason behind the path I’d chosen): living on the country side, growing my own veggies, being close to nature and contemplating what the necessities of a good life really are. I came to the conclusion that for me they were something else. I think Thoreau would have approved because deliberate living is just that: not blindly following someone’s concept of how life should be but coming up with your own.

For me that means whatever makes me happy. I still want to fill my life with as much awareness as possible. Being aware of one’s self is crucial in the pursuit of happiness. At the end of the day, happiness is the meaning of life. Of mine anyway.

What not? I will not share anything that I know still has an emotional grip on me. True, there are no guarantees, comments (or the lack thereof) can hit you unexpectedly. But that is a risk I am willing to take. In fact, that can be a good thing, if you want to know where you still have buttons to push. And I do! (Have buttons, and want to know where they are.)

A way that works for me to put myself to the test, regarding where I really stand on an issue – in this case, whether I think it’s a good idea to share stories about my personal development in a public forum – is asking „How would I feel if everyone did this?“. I have to say: I would love that! It’s in fact the number one thing I am interested in. Not interested in what cause you think I should support, not interested in what political party you support or hate, not interested in what ongoing atrocities you think I should be aware of. If I am following you on a social media platform, I am interested in you. Pictures of and by you, and your perspective on life.  I appreciate honesty in social media. That includes pretty pictures, words of wisdom and encouragement. That also includes descriptions of how people deal with the not so pretty stuff. At the end of the day, social media profiles show less of how someone is than how they want to be seen. And I appreciate people who dare to show their shadows as well as their light. I was waiting for someone to ask me to be one of those people, respectively to give me the permission slip. Then I realized, that none of the people who do claim their space do so because they were „tapped“ – they just do it, and that’s all there is to it!

4. How to begin

That’s the one my mind can easily get stuck on, a good place to look when I don’t know what’s keeping me. Often it’s simply that I overburden the beginning with significance. The point, of course, is really just to jump in anywhere. Maybe that was one of the best lessons my philosophy studies taught me: there is no „easy“ place to start, you just start anywhere. In the beginning it’s all uncharted territory but the more you dare to venture out there, the more you learn how to be an explorer.

This is the story of how my head came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to blog again – and also what it deems worthy of sharing. And I can appreciate it’s job . It’s not like I have a choice anyway, my mind is debating, rejecting and glorifying stuff all the time, so I might as well involve it in a productive process. You know, like those dogs that need a lot of exercise or they’ll trash your home.

However, the true reason is undebatable, undeniable, completely illogical, and beyond rejection and/or praise: I enjoy doing it. I cannot count the number of blogs I have started and deleted over the years since I was 18 or so. They never made me any money, they never changed the world – but I’ve always had so much fun writing them! When you find yourself enjoying something in and for itself, regardless of external reward, you have to trust that you found the best way to spend your life (or as much time of it as possible).

I have found myself coming to this conclusion over and over again, and sometimes I still keep forgetting it. That writing (and sharing that writing) is that for me. The thing I can do no matter what, the magic process that opens up a space where I am the most me. Just out of curiosity: What’s that thing for you? Is it always there with you, or do you also forget/doubt it? What happens when you do? How do you re-discover it? Do you make any conscious efforts to re-discover it, or does it just sort of come back on its own accord?